


Professor Ren

by American_Punk_1990



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:34:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9064357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/American_Punk_1990/pseuds/American_Punk_1990
Summary: As if an early morning Shakepeare class she wasn't interested in to begin with wasn't already annoying enough, Rey's professor Kylo Ren is the most arrogant bastard she's ever met and she can't seem to stop running into him outside of class, too. It's like there's some force in the universe that wants her to suffer.Slow burn, student/teacher AU





	1. Coffee and Onions

**Author's Note:**

> **Apparently I can't stay away from this pairing. Enjoy!**

The coffee Rey was tipping into her mouth was scalding hot, and so she started off her first day of her second year at Niima University spitting boiling coffee out of her mouth and coughing until she felt like her burning lungs were going to join the cooling coffee on the pavement. Unfortunately for her, her coffee endeavor happened to occur just as a tall, dark haired man strolled near her. He stopped, just shy of being pelted by her regurgitated coffee and slowly turned to her, a look of contempt on his face.

“You’re supposed to swallow the coffee,” he told her, a bit haughtily, “not attempt to breathe it and then shoot it out of your mouth as if you’re a geyser.”

She frowned at him, a crease forming between her brows, but before she could shoot a response back, he swept away, his long, black wool coat almost snapping with his abrupt turn. She narrowed her eyes at his retreating form. 

“At least I’m not some idiot wearing a stupid coat when it’s warm out,” she muttered, her tongue still hot. She looked down at the coffee, feeling betrayed by its temperature. “You were supposed to help me.”

She was deliriously exhausted, having been up later than she should have been at her warehouse job. It was hard, labor intensive work, but it paid more than minimum wage and she could work a few ten to twelve hour shifts a week and pay for her share of the apartment she lived in while going to school, provided she didn’t want a social life or sleep. 

She was already in a bad mood when she entered her classroom, annoyed that the only English class that fit with her work schedule and her engineering classes that would also meet her requirement was an introduction to Shakespeare class that was taught at seven in the morning. Her best friend, Finn, had tried to talk her into putting the class off for another semester to save her from a sleep deprivation, but she’d stubbornly insisted that it had to be now. She was already second guessing herself as she chose a seat in the back, hoping that Professor Skywalker would be one of those teachers who would pass out the syllabus and dismiss them early on the first day. It would give her three hours to nap in the library before her next class and she desperately needed it. 

Rey put her coffee on her desk, eyeing it warily as she tried to get herself settled. She’d run out of her place in a rush this morning, later than she’d have liked. Then her car wouldn’t start and she knew by the way the lights on her dash wouldn’t turn on that the ignition switch went out. She would have to replace it later, but that hadn’t helped her that morning, so she’d made a mad dash to the bus stop. Fortunately, the stop had left her on the right side of campus and she’d popped into the student center and purchased the coffee that had scorched her and had enough time to make it into class. 

Now her stomach was grumbling and she poked through her backpack hoping that Poe might have thrown a granola bar in there as he was often wont to do while poking at her sides and telling her she needed to eat more. She felt a thin foil package and hummed in satisfaction when she pulled it out. He’d tossed one of her favorite chocolate chip granola bars in her bag, as she’d suspected he might. She opened it quickly and savored her first bite, not realizing that the classroom was no longer bereft of a teacher. 

“I will make an exception as I have not gone over the rules yet, but after today no food will be allowed in my classroom. Coffee and water are allowed, provided the coffee comes in the form of hot or iced. Blended iced drinks are milkshakes and will not be allowed. Sodas, juices and other sugary drinks are also no allowed. Drink them before you come in here. I don’t trust that you won’t spill them and I will not have ants scuttling about.”

That haughty voice sounded incredibly familiar and Rey looked up, mouth full of granola, to see the same man she’d almost showered in coffee staring up at her, arms crossed. 

He was wearing glasses now and was in the process of removing his coat. Of course, that didn’t make any difference because under that unnecessary material was more black and Rey had to stop herself from snorting at the pretense of wearing so much black. She imagined he thought he might look like a brooding writer with his longer dark hair, black framed glasses, goatee and all black ensemble. She thought he looked like an idiot. The sun was pouring through the open windows and Rey was quite comfortable in her shorts. It was late August, no one needed to wear that many clothes unless they wanted to sweat like an pig.

“As some of you might already know, I am not Professor Skywalker.”

Rey leaned forward in her seat slightly, eyebrows shooting up. She leaned back in her chair again, desperately shaking with laughter over the ridiculously long, dramatic pause the man was taking to let his statement sink in. She wondered if Professor Skywalker was ill and had sent the Drama professor instead. The man had a flair for theatrics.

“Professor Skywalker has more classes to teach than he normally does, she he has relegated this introductory class to me. You may call me Professor Ren or sir. I will refer to you by your last names. This isn’t a kegger, we are professionals and will regard each other as such.”

She couldn’t hold it in anymore. The way the man’s lip curled when he’d said “kegger” had destroyed her. She was choking on the laughter, but managed to turn it into a cough. Ren turned his eyes to her sharply.

“What is your name?”

Every eye in the classroom was on her. Rey took a deep breath and responded. “Rey Kenobi, sir.”

“Miss Kenobi, if you cannot drink that coffee without choking on it for a third time, I will ask you to throw it away.”

Rey managed to not roll her eyes, but only by the skin of her teeth. “Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”

“It had better not.” His voice was clipped, curt even, but Rey had to bite her lips to keep from laughing. She wasn’t going to make it in this class if Ren remained this flamboyantly over the top.

He droned on about his expectations and then plopped a stack of syllabi onto the desk of the closest student, telling him to pass them out. When Rey’s was unceremoniously dumped onto her desk, she leafed through it, aghast by the number of essays she was expected to write about The Bard and his works. When she looked around the classroom, many of her fellow classmates here looking equally disturbed. 

“I know normally on this first day most professors will give you the syllabus and let you leave.” The derision in his voice was obvious. Rey knew that he wasn’t going to be one of those teachers. “I, however, actually care about what I am teaching and I don’t feel like throwing away an entire class period.” 

Groans filled the class and Ren narrowed his eyes dangerously. “I am not going to lecture today. Rather, I’d like for each of you to write me two pages about a topic of your choosing. Write them well, these are being used to judge your baseline writing skills. Before any of you think to purposely do poorly on this assignment, hoping that I will judge you less harshly later in this semester when your writing skills have ‘improved so much’, know this: I will grade these. Once you finish, you may place them on my desk and leave.”

Rey was not a fan of spontaneous writing. She was unsure what to write about and in the end, settled on her passion for building things from scrap metal. She turned them into Professor Ren, who looked down his considerable nose at her and turned to go. 

“You’ve spilled coffee down the front of your blouse.”

His voice was stern and edged with hardness and Rey looked down at herself to see that she had, in fact, spilled a line of coffee down her front. Embarrassingly, it must have been from when she’d spat her coffee out. Great. She nodded at her teacher, deciding to be as short as he was and dreaded spending the rest of her day smelling of old coffee in a messy shirt. 

 

By the time she’d poured herself into bed at past three am the next morning, she was exhausted, running on adrenaline and pure spite. She was grateful that the first of her ridiculous essays wasn’t due for another week and that her next English class wasn’t until the next day. Tuesdays were for her engineering lab and she relished the chance for a practical use of the theories she was learning. She was on an accelerated course structure and even though it was only her second year, she’d loaded up her schedule during her freshman year and had managed the equivalent of a full course load during the summer, too. She wanted to finish her degree as quickly as she possibly could, but for now all she really wanted to do was sleep.

Of course, the next day, still high on the exhilaration from her first lab class, even though they’d only spoken about rules, regulations, materials and done a small amount of actual practical work, she’d popped in to get more coffee and noticed Professor Ren in the large coffee shop off campus that she frequented often. He’d taken up one end of one the large tables with papers he was grading and he was so viciously marking up the paper in front of him, she thought that he might feel personally affronted by it. He was in all black yet again and a different, but still black, coat hung on the chair next to him. She rolled her eyes and her shoulders and ordered her coffee, deciding to sit in one of the large armchairs scattered about the shop. 

She was a few pages into the assigned reading for her English class when she felt eyes boring into her. She looked up to find Professor Ren staring at her, almost radiating annoyance. She wondered if he wasn’t a fan of being in the same coffee place as one of his students and she decided that if he was, he could shove that irritation because she’d been coming to Falcon Coffee House since she’d started school here and she wasn’t going to change her ritual for some pretentious prick. So instead of responding in any way, she buried her nose more firmly into her book and ignored the niggling sensation that his staring was causing. She managed a few minutes of relative peace before she heard the soft click of glass hitting the table she’d set her coffee on. She looked up into the face of Han, the friendly owner, and back down to the sandwich he’d place next to her. 

“You gotta eat, kiddo, otherwise that amount of coffee is going to make you sick.”

“Have you been talking to Poe?”

Han’s hands slid into his pocket and he leaned against the wall. “Maybe. You’re going to work yourself to death and you’re too young and too cute for that. Eat the sandwich. If you finish the whole thing, I bet Chewie’d bring you a cookie.”

Rey laughed. “Bribing me now, are you?”

A small broke out across Han’s weathered face. “I am. Trust me, though, you don’t want to turn down one of Chewie’s cookies.”

They both looked behind the counter where a burly, hairy man was unintentionally intimidating one of the freshmen who couldn’t understand Chewie’s heavily accented English, and was almost shaking where he stood, trying to communicate his order. 

“I better go. Even if he’d never hurt anybody, it seems like everyone is afraid of him. I want to put up a sign that says ‘As long as you let him win at chess, the big, scary man will not rip your arms off’, but apparently, that’s not appropriate. Eat.”

Rey took a big bite while he watched her to placate Han and then she laughed to herself as the older man went to the rescue of the small freshman boy who looked relieved, almost to the point of tears, to not have to deal with Chewie anymore. The larger man shrugged and made a noise that sounded peculiarly like a purring growl to Rey’s ears and she smiled. The men who ran the coffee shop were half the reason she enjoyed coming here. She looked back across the room to see if Professor Ren was still there and he was watching Han deal with the customer up front, his lip curled in derision. Rey made up her mind then and there that she wasn’t going to like the man because anyone who could watch the amusing spectacle that was playing out behind the counter and not be amused wasn’t worth anything in her book. 

“Probably thinks he’s too good to laugh. I’ll bet he gave himself kidney stones by the time he was twelve,” Rey muttered to herself, her lips quirking in a small smile. 

She found she enjoyed Shakespeare more than she would have thought and it wasn’t long until she’d read ten pages more than she’d needed to. She felt good about her progress and stretched, finished the last few bites of her sandwich with happy satisfaction. True to Han’s word, Chewie, upon seeing she was done, brought one of the white chocolate macadamia nut cookies that Rey loved and sat it down in the place where her now empty plate had been. She made small talk with him and she laughed at his astonishment over the boy who’d been so afraid of him. While other people found him frightening and difficult to understand, Rey enjoyed his company and conversation and had been on the receiving end of one of the man’s delightful bear hugs more than once. She enjoyed them greatly. 

Not long after Chewie left, Rey heard footsteps again and she looked up from the play she was reading into the face of her teacher. 

“I’d suggest annotating your book as you go along. If you think you can just read it and pass my class, you might as well drop it now.”

After stating that, the man swept away again, leaving an annoyed Rey in his wake. 

“Asshole.”

 

Rey, Finn, and Poe made a point of making dinner together once a week. They arranged their schedules in such a way that they were certain of all having at least one evening off together and this semester, that evening was on Tuesday. The kitchen in their apartment was small, but they made do, weaving around each other in a way that was practiced and comfortable. None of them were particularly good at cooking, but together they managed to get something edible on their second hand table. Tonight, they were trying their hand at homemade pizza which was a step up from the disgusting but cheap takeaway pizza Rey often got for $5 at a chain pizza place down the street.

“I want mushrooms,” she told Finn and Poe and they nodded their heads in agreement, wandering down the aisles aimlessly, talking about their days. Poe, who’d graduated a few years prior, liked to refer to himself as being ‘underemployed’ by a company that meant well, but did not pay its staff well enough. Finn, in his senior year, was working part time for a movie theater, which meant old popcorn and hot dogs were a staple in their apartment and their diets. 

She and Finn had met on campus when she was a freshman and they had become fast friends. When he’d mentioned that he and his boyfriend were looking for someone to live in the second bedroom in their apartment, the one that had originally be Finn’s before he and Poe had started dating, Rey leapt at the chance. She’d been trying to find a place to live before school had started, but had ended up spending the night in her rust bucket of a car. When she’d arrived to the apartment and had immediately been set upon by a rather energetic and surprisingly friendly orange and white cat, she knew she’d found her home. 

The three of them were thick as thieves and Rey had happily carved out a place with them, even earning her place at the Dameron family holiday celebrations after Poe’s mom had visited and deemed Rey in dire need of “some meat on her bones”. Poe’s own obsession with making Rey eat had sprung from his mother’s announcement and Rey was almost certain that Mom Dameron called Poe regularly to inquire after Rey’s eating habits. 

They wandered to the produce and Rey plucked some mushrooms from the crisper and tossed them in the basket. They decided on onions and peppers too before wandering toward the meat section, Finn and Poe arguing about what meat they wanted. Rey examined the veggies in the cart and noticed that the onion that Finn had put in the cart had a brown spot that she didn’t like the look of. She pointed it out to the guys and took it back to the produce to exchange it. The water misters had come on and Rey hadn’t noticed one of them leaking atrociously. She also didn’t notice the slippery puddle of water it was making until her foot slid out from under her and she landed, ass first, on the ground. She was stunned for a moment, the pain radiating up her backside. Before she could struggle to her feet, a pale, elegant hand appeared in front of her face, obviously offering her assistance. She took it without looking to see to whom it belonged and its owner pulled her to her feet in one easy movement. 

Rey looked up and met the eyes of Professor Ren yet again and she had to surpress a groan over running into him twice in one day.

“Are you constantly in a state of spilling? Be it beverages or yourself, most times I see you, something is spilling to the ground.”

“No,” she snapped back. “You’re only catching the greatest hits.”

He arched an eyebrow. “It would appear that, in this instance at least, you are being quite literal. I hope you are alright.”

Rey was surprised that he could be civil in any way. She was about to reassure him that she was when he finished his thought.

“Even if you were injured, it wouldn’t matter to me, so long as you can still write and pay attention in class.”

The man turned to go and Rey stuck her tongue out at him, childishly. He turned around while her tongue was still out of her mouth and Rey was mortified, flushing red with embarrassment. 

“I’m loath to have to tell you something of this nature again, but you have water all over your pants.”

Rey looked down at herself and realized he was right, but before she could respond to him, he was gone and Finn and Poe were by her side, asking if she was alright.

“I’m fine, but I cannot stand that man!”

The pizza was delicious and she regaled her friends with stories of her English teacher while they all laughed and enjoyed every slice of it. After she was done talking, Finn and Poe took a turn talking about their days in greater detail than before and then they settled into comfortable chattering. BB, the cat, wound his way through their legs, meowing plaintively, obviously hoping for some of what they were eating.

“Buddy, no,” Poe protested. “If you get any more rotund, I’m going to be considered a bad cat mom and they’ll take you away from me.”

It was exceptionally hard to ignore his little meows, and Rey eventually gave in, but in a better way than BB had anticipated, opening a can of wet food for him. They listened to his eager chomps with amusement. 

“He’s such a greedy little fluffball,” Poe laughed.

Finn agreed and launched into the story of how, when BB had first met him, he wasn’t a fan. Soon they were laughing hard enough that they were wiping their eyes, but through the entire story, BB’s tail was flicking, as if he understood what they were saying and was not at all amused.

Rey felt warm and comfortable as she slipped into bed early that night, determined to get at least one good night’s sleep. Maybe if she wasn’t exhausted, the next time her smarmy professor was arrogantly smug in her direction, she’d have a witty retort. She fell asleep with annoyance edging at her consciousness and in her dream, the coffee she’d spat out landed directly on him. When she woke up the next day, she declared it an excellent dream.


	2. Bad Grades and Bad Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I wasn't planning on posting this yet, but after hearing about Carrie Fisher today, I wanted to put something out into the world other than my own intense sorrow.**

Rey’s mouth tasted like dirt when she woke up on Wednesday morning and she quickly made her way to the bathroom she shared with Poe and Finn to vigorously brush her teeth. When she remembered that the reason her alarm was waking her up so early was to get her to campus in time for her dreaded English class, she lost some of her happy, well rested feeling. 

She dressed quickly and grabbed an energy bar for the bus ride, chewing it thoughtfully as she mentally tried to rearrange her tightly controlled schedule of classes, seeing if there was any possible way for her to drop this class and still maintain the rate at which she was hoping to graduate. She sighed, crumpling the wrapper and putting it in her pocket to throw away later when she realized that she had no such luck. She was going to be stuck with Professor Asshole until December. At least the class was a decent enough size that it was unlikely that she’d have too much personal interaction with him. 

She checked her phone and saw that she had enough time to pop into Falcon and grab a coffee to go and she decided that she’d fare better doing that than she would with the cheap tasting, burning hot coffee served on the college campus. It shouldn’t have come to a surprise to her that she wasn’t the only one in the shop that early in the morning. It also shouldn’t have surprised her that, of course, the person in line in front of her was none other than her jerk teacher. Once again, he was in all black and for some reason that habit of his made her more furious than anything else about him. He might have been a sanctimonious prick, but if he’d worn some damn jeans she could probably deal with him. 

She made eye contact with Han behind the counter and he called out a greeting to her. She noticed the back in front of her stiffen and the overly tall man turned slowly to glare down at her. He stayed like that for a moment before facing back to the front, but before he had, she saw a telltale creeping flush that she could only assume was from anger or annoyance. She wanted to tell him that she wasn’t any happier than he was about their repeated meetings, but she just bit her tongue and cheerily tossed a hello back to Han. 

She couldn’t help overhear the clipped, formal manner that Ren ordered a “Large coffee, black” and she wanted to roll her eyes and ask the man if he’d ever had to work with customers. Rey’s high school job had been in a coffee shop and Ren would have been just the type of customer she’d imitate ruthlessly in the break room to howls of laughter from coworkers. Han didn’t seem upset, and instead asked the man how his teaching job was treating him.

“Fine, but I bump into students outside of class more often than I like.” His tone was clipped and Rey knew he was referring to her and she wanted to kick him a little. Without another word, he stepped to the side to wait for his plain coffee.

“How you doing today kiddo? Did you have something for breakfast?”

“Yes, Han,” Rey laughed a little. “I appreciate the ‘dad’ voice though.” She heard a snort to the left of her and pointedly ignored the tall, dark man who was hovering, waiting for his drink, but also obviously eavesdropping. 

“What do you want this morning?”

“I think just an iced coffee will work. I’ve got to head to class soon, so I’ll need to take it to go.”

“You want it light and sweet like normal?” Han asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes please. And toss a shot of espresso in there. I have work tonight, so I won’t get home until around three am.”

Han paused, staring at her. “I thought you only worked until two on Wednesday nights.”

“That’s true,” Rey replied, “But my ignition switch went out on my car and I haven’t had a chance to replace it yet. I ordered the part and it’ll be delivered by Friday, so hopefully by Sunday I’ll have enough time to fix it. Until then, I have to walk home from work because the buses stop running at eleven.”

“What about Finn and Poe? One of them should be able to pick you up. I don’t like the idea of you wandering the streets at two in the morning.”

“I don’t want to ask either of them to wake up and bring me home. I’ll be fine,” she reassured him again. Someone joined the line behind her, so she stepped to the side and gave Chewie a bright smile. She was only about a foot away from Professor Ren.

“He’s right. You shouldn’t be walking around that late at night.” 

Rey felt a ripple of annoyance climb up her spine and she tried to ignore him, but found she couldn’t.

“That’s your opinion.”

“It’s obviously a shared one,” he shot back heatedly. 

She shrugged one shoulder, doing her best to appear as though his opinion meant nothing to her and she could practically feel the waves of irritation rolling off him. Somehow, his coffee came up at the same time as hers and they grabbed them and, embarrassingly, set off at the same time in the same direction. Rey was upset that, from an outsider’s perspective, it looked like that were walking together amiably when she wanted nothing more than to be without his presence. She considered slowing her stroll, but she wouldn’t put it past the man to consider her altered pace as his victory. What truly bothered her was the way he was matching her step for step when he had over half a foot of height on her. His gait should have naturally been longer, taking him ahead of her, but he seemed to be almost languid in his movements, as if he wasn’t in any hurry. She suspected that he was doing it on purpose to annoy her. 

They walked to the classroom in silence, but for all intents and purposes, together. He held the door open for her, a polite gesture she hadn’t been expecting. He ruined the nicety quickly. 

“Try not to drench yourself in coffee this morning.”

She stomped to her seat at the back of the class and loudly, petulantly, slurped at her coffee. He cast a disparaging look in her direction and she felt a small thrill of success that she’d annoyed him. He took off his cross-body messenger bag and began sorting through papers quietly, running out the time until class was going to begin. Rey took out her cell phone, deciding to quickly run through any emails she might have, but before she could do much of anything she head Professor Ren’s sharp voice.

“No cell phones.”

“Class hasn’t started yet,” Rey replied, irritation sparking. 

“You’re in the classroom. There are no cell phones allowed in this classroom, regardless of whether or not I am currently lecturing. Put it away Miss Kenobi, or take it outside. If you choose to take it outside and you are so much as a minute late, it will be reflected in your final grade.”

Rey ignored the familiar uneasy sensation of multiple eyes on her while she was being lectured, again, by Professor Ren. She pocketed her phone and watched the man nod once in satisfaction. The classroom was silent again and Rey was staring at the clock, waiting for it to be seven and for the class to officially start. She fidgeted in her seat, wishing that it was half past nine and class was already over. 

The seconds seemed to tick by with excruciating slowness, but eventually it was time for class to begin and Professor Ren was shrugging his way out of another of his stupid black coats. Rey wondered if he had a separate closet for just his pseudo intimidating black coat collection. 

“I was, for the most part, disappointed by the collection of writing samples I received. Some of you seemed to think that simply making it onto the second page with a sentence or two counted for the full length. Several of you seemed to forget how punctuation works. I expect those of you who scored low to independently work on your skill set. This may be an English class, but I will not hold your hand and teach you how to use a semicolon. I will call out your name and ask you to come collect your work, as I do not have everyone’s names memorized at this time.”

Rey was mindlessly bored with the procession of students to the front of the room. Many of them openly winced at the heavily marked papers. Rey could see from even as far back as she was that the papers being handed back were covered in dark red marks. When her name was finally called, she met Professor Ren’s gaze squarely, taking the paper without turning it over. She didn’t look at it until she was seating back in her desk and she tried to high the rage she felt. She’d never gotten a ‘C’ in her life and she just knew that he had deliberately nitpicked everything because he didn’t like her. She read through his critiques and criticisms and her lip curled in a sneer. She wanted to rip the paper into tiny pieces and fling them into his face. 

She was barely listened to the lecture, choosing instead to quietly seethe in her seat. When the class was finally over, she stayed seated until the rest of her classmates scurried away, eager to get away from Ren’s surly gaze. She rose and walked up to him and stood in directly front of him until he acknowledged her.

“Yes, Miss Kenobi?”

“I don’t think that this deserved such a low grade.”

He stared at her, clearly astonished that she would confront him. “And yet that is the grade you were given. I’m the teacher, I give the grades. It’s not that difficult to comprehend.”

“I think you’re biased against me.”

He let out a short laugh at that. “I don’t even know you, Miss Kenobi. Although, admittedly, this is not working in your favor.”

“You spent half of your time at Falcon yesterday glaring at me rather than marking papers.”

“I glare at everyone. That doesn’t make you special.”

“I don’t deserve a ‘C’.”

“That’s what you got, so that’s what you earned. Try harder next time.”

With that, he turned on one heel and strode out of the classroom, leaving Rey behind, seething. She desperately wanted to get away from campus, but with another class in less than half an hour, she couldn’t leave. 

Her attention constantly wavered during her ten o’clock class, but she took notes as best she could, resigning herself to a long session with her textbook that evening to fill in the gaps her lack of concentration had left. After the class ended, she rooted through her backpack, hoping that the gym clothes she’d thrown in there a day earlier hadn’t been tossed out at some later point. When her hand closed on the material, the little victory made her feel satisfaction. She made her way to the school gym and quickly changed in the locker room. She spent a frustrating several long seconds untangling her headphones before plugging them into her phone, cranking the music as loud as possible, and making her way to the gym floor. 

She made her way to the treadmill, deciding a quick run would do her temper some good. Soon, she felt like she was soaring, music pumping in her ears. The frustrations of the day started to melt away and she did her best to focus on breathing and keeping up the breakneck speed she’d set for herself, rather than expending any energy angrily brooding. She kept up a consistent pace until she was out of breath and sweating. When she shut her treadmill off, she’d gone a few miles and leeched out some of the irritation that had her brain swimming earlier. She took a few minutes to stretch out her legs, not wanting to end up feeling sore tomorrow before she made her way to the weight side of the gym.

While the treadmills and ellipticals were mostly commandeered by women, the weights were dominated by men. As Rey passed one of the bench presses, the grunting coming from it managed to break through the sound barrier of her headphones. She grabbed a bench for herself and set up her weights. As she was smoothly going through her motions, a male face appeared above hers, looking down. She could see his mouth move, but with the music blasting she had no idea what he was trying to say. She racked the bar and pulled one headphone out.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I was just asking if you needed a spot.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” Rey replied. She was getting ready to replace her earbud, effectively cutting off the conversation when the guy started talking again.

“I can help you work on your form. What you’ve got going isn’t bad, but it could be improved. You’re letting the weight dip too low, it’s dangerous. If you want, I could help you get the movement down. You’ll get a better workout that way.”

Rey’s jaw had hardened during his little speech. She didn’t know what happened to men when they saw a woman working out alone, or why they suddenly turned into experts whose only goal in life was to instruct some poor, helpless damsel, but she was not amused.

“I’ll be fine.” He voice was firm and it obviously got the point across, because the man shrugged one shoulder and ambled off. She was back to being annoyed and when she put the earbud back into her ear, her sets became faster and more energetic than before. When she finished, she moved the bench out of the way and loaded on more weight to do some squats when she happened to look across the gym to see a familiar figure in all black.

Of course. Her good mood was completely ruined now and she quickly put the weights away and tried to slip out of the gym before she was noticed. That tactic was ruined when she same guy from before, somehow further emboldened, approached her and slid an arm around her shoulders and, audaciously, pulled a headphone out of her ear. Her attention was turned from Professor Ren to the man currently encroaching on her personal space. 

“Heading out so soon?”

“Get your arm off me.” Her voice brooked no argument, but the man was more oblivious than most. She supposed he was handsome, he certainly seemed to think so, shooting her a lopsided grin. His shirt was tight across the bands of muscles through his abdomen and back and the bulge of his biceps. 

“We should get dinner.”

The man obviously thought that he was a player and that Rey was interested in whatever game he was about. She reached up and physically removed his arm from her body, forcing it down and away from her.

“No.”

“Aw, come on, why not?”

Before Rey could tell him off a voice sounded behind them.

“Leave her alone. She said no.”

Rey’s irritation rose even higher when she recognized the voice. Undoubtedly, Ren was going to think of himself as some great savior because he was standing up for her. The muscular man who was harassing her was in the middle of saying “Who asked you?” when he turned and realized who was speaking. When he saw that the man in question was older, taller, and had a face like thunder, he left quickly, quite like a dog with a tail between its legs.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Rey’s voice was heated and Ren looked mildly surprised, then annoyed.

“It was painful to watch. Someone had to interfere with the hormone addled adolescents.”

“I didn’t ask you to interfere, and I don’t appreciate it. I can fight my own battles.”

Ren snorted. “By all means.”

He turned and left as quickly as he’d approached and Rey noticed that even his sneakers were completely black.

“Pretentious asshole.”

 

Rey was pouring over her textbook, outlining the part of the chapter that had been lecture on during the class she’d blanked on. Her notes were starting to make more sense, but the library was feeling oppressive. She packed her bag and made her way to Falcon. The aroma of freshly baked pastries filled her nose when she entered and her stomach growled loudly in response. The line was unbelievably long, and she saw Han and Chewie were struggling to keep up with the sudden influx of customers. She felt immediate sympathy and made her way past the line.

“Want some help?” She called over the counter. Han’s eyes settled on her. 

“That depends, you know how?”

“Used to work at a Starbucks. Been a while, but you never really forget.”

Han gestured toward her. “Get back here.”

Between the three of them, they managed to get the long line of customers down to a more respectably amount in a matter of a few minutes. Han asked her to cover the register for a minute while he ran to the back for more supplies. Her first two customers were cheerful and appreciative of the quick help, but as she looked up and up into a now very familiar face, she had to stop herself from groaning. 

“What do you want?”

Ren was staring down his nose at her again and she found she hated that he was so much taller than her.

“Flat white. Extra shot of espresso.”

She called it back to Chewie and was getting ready to charge him when Han spoke behind her.

“He doesn’t pay for drinks here, Rey. Ben, back for more caffeine?”

In the pause that followed that question, Rey wondered why anyone would name their son Ben Ren.

“It’s Kylo,” Ren replied harshly.

“I’ve told you over and over again, I’m not calling you that. We named you Ben; that’s your name.”

The gravity of that sentence hit her and she was shocked. Han, the gentle, funny, somewhat overprotective owner of her favorite coffee shop was her least favorite teacher’s father. Ren stalked off and Han sighed. 

“The kid’s a handful.” He turned his attention to Rey. “Thanks for your help. You go sit down and Chewie and I will bring you some food and something to drink.”

“It’s no problem. I didn’t hate working at a coffee place before. This was kind of fun.”

“Well, if you ever need a job, I could use some extra help around here.”

Rey tucked that bit of information away in her mind, in case she got desperate enough later to take on a second job. “Thanks, Han.”

Rey settled herself at one of the tables and pulled out her textbook, continuing her outlining, ignoring the dark figure she could see out of the corner of her eye. She could tell he was annoyed, but that was no great skill because he always seemed to be that way. When he received his drink and sat at the other end of the long table Rey was occupying, she had to stop herself from snapping at him to get his own table. He pulled out work of his own and pointedly ignored Rey, much to her relief.

Minutes later, Chewie came by and dropped off a fully loaded sandwich, a parfait, and a large mocha. She thanked him profusely and accused him of trying to fatten her up.

“Fat is good,” the man told her. “Keeps you soft and warm.”

Rey laughed, and her amusement was genuine. Chewie gave her a quick pat on her head and Rey watched him join Han back behind the counter, warmth spreading through her stomach.

“Most people have a hard time understanding him.”

Rey’s eyes flicked to Ren and she found the man was watching her closely. 

“I’ve never found it to be exceptionally difficult.” She tried to keep her response short, lest the man think she wanted a conversation. He looked like he might say more, so she cut him off. “I have to get this chapter outlined before I go to work and I only have a few minutes.”

He took the hint, dropping his eyes and focusing on his own work. Rey worked doggedly, doing her best to outline and understand the material covered in class. All too soon, she had to pack her backpack and set off for the bus stop.

 

By the time she got off work, she was exhausted and seriously questioning whether she should call one of the boys for a ride. In the end, she decided waking them up wasn’t worth it and she set off down the empty sidewalk. She’d only made it half a mile before a car saw her and slowed. She heard it make a U turn behind her and her hackles rose. The driver was approaching her slowly and it finally pulled alongside her. When the window rolled down, Rey saw the face that had been plaguing her so frequently. 

“Get in. If I don’t give you a ride back to your place, Han will never let me hear the end of it.”

“I’m fine walking.”

“I don’t like this anymore than you do, but quit fighting me. I’m going to be even more annoyed if I have to waste time arguing with you.” 

Rey looked at his face, trying to determine the strength of his determination. Her feet hurt, so she pulled the door open and settled into the oppressive warmth of the car. The man had the heater on even though it was nowhere near cold. She was beginning to think that the jackets and heater were just his attempts of recreating hell which was obviously his natural habitat. 

She told him how to get to her place and the ride to her apartment was done in complete silence. He didn’t wish her goodnight when she got out of the car and replied to her thanks with a curt nod.

She heard the car idle until she let herself in the apartment building, after which the engine roared to life and its driver sped away.

She had a distinct feeling that this late-night interaction was going to result in another dream in which mildly painful, but mostly amusing, things happened to the man.


	3. Eyes on Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I hope everyone is doing okay. The news about Carrie has hit a lot of us so hard. I hadn't originally planned to include a TON of Leia in this fanficion, but in recognition of recent events, she will be getting an introduction soon and will become a reoccurring character in this story. I hope you all enjoy this update.**

Rey was dead tired the next day when she woke up. Her muscles were intensely sore and there was a mild ache throbbing in her head. She showered quickly, trying to work out some of the stiffness in her body and hoping the warm water would wake her up and soothe her mild headache. Truthfully, she was considering finding a different job. She liked the security of the pay of her warehouse job and the number of hours she was getting, but working full time and going to school full time were starting to run her ragged. As she dressed quickly, she started doing mental math, trying to decide if it was worth it to find another job or just suck it up for another year or so. She was trying to build up a financial cushion. Years of living in relative poverty with various foster families had made her fastidious with her money and the idea of taking a lower paying job to give herself a break tasted sour in her mouth. 

She examined the contents of her fridge and settled on an old leftover slice of cheap pizza from a few days earlier, eating it cold while she gathered her things. She didn’t have a lab today, just her lecture associated with it, and so her class wasn’t until 11. She decided to grab coffee at Falcon again, and she checked her phone and saw that she had only a few minutes to make it to the bus stop. She pulled on her shoes and started to jog down the hallway. After a moment’s hesitation, she chose to sacrifice her legs a little and take the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator, but her muscles screamed at her as she took them two at a time. She managed to make it to the bus stop less than a minute before the bus arrived and she took a spot standing next to a pole, scrolling through her phone.

When she stepped of the bus and made the quick journey to Falcon, she was feeling slightly more awake. She knew that the hit of caffeine she’d get would take her the rest of the way there and she was glad she’d given herself some extra time to get herself awake before class started. Han was behind the counter, and she smiled when he met her eye. 

“Hey, kiddo, did you make it home from work alright last night?”

“I did, thanks. You didn’t have to send your son after me, though. I would have made it fine on my own.”

A puzzled look crossed Han’s face. “I never thought Ben would actually listen to me. I’ve been trying to get him to pay attention to the things I’m telling him to do since he was a kid, but I guess the only time he does is when it involves a pretty girl. That figures.”

A flush creeped across Rey’s cheeks. “Don’t get the wrong idea. I think he was trying to be some weird white knight, that’s all.”

Han laughed. “Maybe. He never cared much about other people before, but it’s possible that he’s starting to become sentimental in his old age.”

Rey smiled, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach and asked for another iced coffee. Han set about making it for her and she settled comfortably into a chair at one of the long tables, removing her laptop from her bag. She had to get started on the essay Ren had assigned at the end of the last class and she was determined that she’d score much higher than last time. She was alternating between typing, drinking, and idly scanning the coffeehouse when she realized she needed to pack up and hurry if she wanted to make it to class on time. 

As she was making her way to the door, Professor Ren was entering and she paused a moment upon seeing him. They made eye contact and he nodded at her curtly before strolling past her, signature black coat billowing in the wake of his quick steps. Rey felt embarrassed for some reason and she couldn’t put her finger on it. 

She enjoyed her class immensely, the subject fascinating her at every turn. She felt refreshed when it was over and she grinned down at her phone, reading a text from Finn asking if she was free for lunch. She was walking and replying when her shoulder slammed into what felt like a brick wall. She went sprawling to the ground, managing to only barely hold onto her phone and avoid landing on her messenger back as she did so. As she thought to herself that she needed to stop falling on her ass, she looked up, trying to discover what she’d run into. Professor Ren was standing there, teetering only slightly off balance from the collision that had knocked her down completely. She heard him sigh and he offered his hand to her. She pointedly ignored it, pulling herself up from the floor. Ren pulled his hand back and looked as if her was about to say something, but Rey cut him off.

“Don’t ruin my good day with another snarky comment,” and with that she strode away, ignoring the now familiar almost itchy feeling that his continued stare caused her. 

Her good mood returned when she saw Finn. Considering they shared an apartment, Rey felt she should see him more often than she did, but their conflicting schedules made getting together difficult at times. He looked as handsome as ever, casually dressed in a t-shirt Rey recognized as being Poe’s. It wasn’t uncommon for the two men to share clothes and even Rey found herself wearing a shirt of theirs on occasion. When Finn noticed Rey approaching, his smile filled his face and he lit up and Rey could swear that a girl a table over started blushing. 

“Hey Peanut!” Finn called out when she was only a few feet away.

“Hey Finn,” Rey responded, closing the gap and pulling out the chair beside him. 

“How are the classes treating you?”

“Today is a good day,” Rey declared, her smile broad. “What about you?”

“Not too bad. Missing summer though, but I’m almost done.”

Rey’s stomach clenched at the reminder that this was Finn’s final year. Next year she’d be on her own without even these intermittent lunches to look forward to because Finn would presumably either be job hunting or, hopefully, employed. She wasn’t one to make friends easily, and university was a lot more comfortable when she knew she had a friend on campus. 

“What do you want to do for lunch?” Rey asked, changing the topic from school to the reason for their meeting. 

“Well, we could get something from the cafeteria, or we could take my car and get Indian food from that new place Curry in a Hurry.”

“With a name like that, how am I supposed to be able to resist?”

Lunch was incredibly good and Rey laughed at Finn’s stories. When he wasn’t telling her some amusing anecdote or another, Rey was enjoying the comforting silence between them. She was about to swallow a mouthful of chicken vindaloo when Finn’s question made her choke a little.

“So, what was up with that guy at the supermarket the other day?”

Rey struggled for a moment, but took a drink of water and got her food down. 

“He’s my English professor and I can’t stand him. Something about the way he talks and acts makes me furious.”

“Well,” Finn drew out the word slightly. “From what we saw, he seemed to be alright. You hit the ground hard and he wasn’t even right by you and he went out of his way to leave his cart behind and help you up. He seemed to be genuinely concerned.”

“I doubt it. I think he goes out of his way to annoy me.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s everywhere I go! I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t turned up here. I ran into him at the store, I literally ran into him on my way here, and he’s always at Falcon when I am. Oh, and get this, he’s Han’s son.”

Finn’s eyebrows raised. “I didn’t know Han had a son.”

“Neither did I! But apparently he does and the guy’s a pretentious asshole.”

Rey set in on all the interactions she had with Ren so far and she watched Finn’s face become more and more incredulous with every story. By the time she was done, Finn was laughing.

“It’s not funny. I already loathe having to see him in class and now it’s like the universe wants me to constantly embarrass myself around him,” Rey was insistent.

“I can see how some of those interactions could be seen as embarrassing or annoying, but he made that creep in the gym leave you alone and that was pretty good of him.”

“He also gave me a ride home last night,” Rey added and she watched Finn’s face go from amused to guarded. 

“How’d that happen?”

“He said Han put him up to it.”

“If you need a ride while your car is out of commission, call me for one. Any time of the day or night I’ll come get you. I don’t like the idea of you getting in a car with someone you hardly know.”

“He’s my teacher,” Rey said, but even as she did she realized that implicitly trusting him the day before could have been seen as stupid.

“Even so, that might be worse. There are lines that students and teachers shouldn’t cross and somehow the close confines of a car seem to cross them slightly.”

“It’s not as if anything happened other than I was annoyed and he was as surly as ever. I’m fairly certain that the man despises me as much as I dislike him.”

Finn shook his head, still serious, but less so. “I doubt anyone could despise you Peanut.”

The subject was dropped and they moved onto other things, but as Finn chatted away on the ride back to school, Rey thought about what Finn said and resolved to have less interaction with Ren.

 

That was easier said than done, Rey discovered. The man seemed to be everywhere she wanted to be. He must live near her apartment building because every time that weekend she wasn’t working, fixing her car, or working on the essay for his class and she chose to leave her apartment she’d run into him. Once at the pizza place, where he seemed embarrassed that she caught him buying for consumption something as primitive as a $5 pizza, another time at the gas station where she’d walked to purchase an energy drink before her shift. He was trying to pretend he didn’t see her when she saw him. She left without the energy drink, eager to get away. 

Finally on Sunday morning she got her car up and running and spent the few hours before her shift started at Falcon with her computer. Occasionally, she needed to work on school stuff in a different environment than school or her apartment and Falcon came with Wi-Fi, caffeine, and an occasional few minutes of social interaction with either Chewie or Han. When Ren entered, she barely acknowledged him, deciding to pretend she didn’t see him. He did the same and for the first time she wasn’t overly disturbed by his presence. She started to pack up when she only had a few minutes left before she had to go to work. Her essay was due on Wednesday and the progress she’d made on it today made her hopeful. 

“Rey! On your way to work?” Han called out as she stood, slipping her computer into her bag.

“Unfortunately, yes. I’ve got a ten hour shift today, but my car is working again, so I don’t have to worry about that.”

“Anytime you want to give up lugging around boxes, I’d be happy to have you here,” Han reminded her, a smile on his face as he wiped the counter down. Rey thanked him and started to leave, tossing him a cheery goodbye. She was almost to her car when a voice behind her spoke. 

“You should take him up on his offer.”

Rey’s back stiffened and she turned slowly, unsurprised to see Ren a few feet away, arms folded and watching her.

“What I do in my spare time is hardly your concern _professor_.”

He squared his jaw firmly and Rey felt his eyes on her as she slid her bag into her trunk. Without another word, she started up her car and drove away, conscious of the way he watched her go.

She practically poured herself into bed that night. She talked to Unkar, her boss and the man who did the scheduling, about no longer working on Sunday nights and he grunted at her that he couldn’t shift her schedule for a few weeks at least. She left it at that. Now she was laying in her bed, dead tired but unable to sleep. Her body was sore again; the shipments they’d needed to move that night were heavier than normal and she felt that weight in the way her biceps ached sharply. She turned onto her side and curled into a ball under her flat sheet, wishing for a sleep that was a long time coming. 

 

The next morning, she glanced in the mirror and studied the dark circles under her eyes. She looked like she’d gotten even less sleep than she truly had. She splashed cold water on her face and tied her hair up into one large top knot, uncaring that it was messy and that some of the shorter parts of her hair would fall out of the elastic during the day. She wanted it out of her face and couldn’t find two more bands to secure it in the three buns that she knew would keep her hair neat and away from her eyes.

Breakfast was another protein bar. It tasted like sawdust in her mouth, but having her car back meant she didn’t have to rush as much and that knowledge put her in a slightly better mood. She made it to Falcon and was happy to see that it was relatively empty. 

“Rey, no offense, but did you sleep at all last night?” Han’s voice was filled with concern.

“Some. Not enough, but what else is new?” She replied. “Can I have a large iced coffee, but with two shots of espresso in it as well?”

Han stared at her for a moment and then nodded slowly. “Okay.”

Rey leaned against one of the walls, exhaustion weighing heavily on her when she heard the cheery little bell ding over the door. Ren had entered and Rey hoped desperately that he would just leave her alone. She was too tired for his nonsense. He ordered his drink and moved to the waiting area and that was when he saw her. He stared rudely, not bothering to conceal the surprise on his face. She knew she looked pale and drawn from lack of sleep, but she wanted to yell at him and remind him that staring was impolite. Han called her name and she took the drink, taking a long swallow. It was bitter, the espresso hard to mask, but Rey desperately needed the caffeine. She brushed past Ren who seemed to make it his goal in life to get in her way. She was almost to her car when she heard hurried footsteps and she had to stop herself from pulling at her own hair.

“What?” Her tone was harsh as she turned to him. His face was shuttered. 

“I…nothing. You have your car.”

He turned to go and Rey realized that he had hurried to follow after her, thinking that she was walking the rest of the way to the school as she had before. Absurdly, Rey wondered if he’d thought to walk with her and antagonize her more. Then she remembered the way he’d seemed to measure his steps the last time and how she’d been annoyed that his longer stride hadn’t taken him faster than her and suddenly the notion didn’t seem so absurd. He’d wanted to walk alongside her on Wednesday. Had he expected another embarrassing scene like so many others he’d gotten to see from her? The man was obviously a sadist.

Now that Rey realized that Professor Ren seemed to be focused on her at least slightly, she saw how frequently his eyes flicked to her during his lecture. She tried to count the number of times his eyes caught hers and she found herself not paying attention at all to the words he was saying. Halfway through the class, he asked her a question directly. He’d repeated the question impatiently and Rey still hadn’t realized he was talking to her until several other students turned in their seats. She had to ask him to repeat it once more and he did so, his exasperation evident. Her relief was palpable when she realized the question was based on the reading, which she’d done, and not the lecture, to which she’d paid no attention. 

As she was leaving the room, one of the boys in her class, whose name she did not know, called out for her. They exchanged a few words about the course and how strict Ren was before the boy, who’d introduced himself at the beginning of their brief conversation and whose name Rey had already forgotten, asked her if she’d like to go out with him sometime.

“Nothing big or awkward. Maybe we could go to one of the parties on campus this weekend?”

Rey was trying to find a way to politely decline when she met Professor Ren’s eyes for what felt like the fiftieth time that day. His high cheekbones were red and his lips were tight. He swept toward them and sent them both a scowl.

“I trust the two of you are discussing your essays. As you may recall, they’re due Wednesday. I certainly hope that yours at least, Mr. Asty, is a large improvement over the sample you gave me.” With that, Professor Ren stomped away and several of the students crowding the hallways seemed to almost throw themselves out of his way.

The boy looked uncomfortable and Rey shot him a sympathetic look. “As much as I’d like to go out with you somewhere, I don’t have the time. Between school and work, I barely have enough time to sleep, let alone have a life.”

He nodded in understanding and excused himself, leaving rather quickly, making Rey wonder if his blasé response to her turning him down wasn’t just him saving face.

The rest of the day was a blur and Rey was glad when it was over. She was supposed to work that night, but her lack of sleep was getting to her and she needed to work on her essay desperately, so she put on her best sick voice and phoned a not understanding Unkar to tell him that she had come down with “that summer cold that’s been going around” and managed to convince him that it would be better for her to use a sick day and get better, rather than bringing her illness in to infect the rest of the staff. She worked on the rest of her essay until she was satisfied with it. She’d proofread it Tuesday evening and then hand it over to Finn or Poe for their input and she couldn’t imagine that this essay would score as low as her last one. 

When she slept, she was plagued with dreams of dark haired men watching her wherever she went.


	4. Sickness and Soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I know, I post incredibly frequently, but cranking out 15 to 20 pages of content has always been easy for me. Would you guys rather I made the chapters twice as long for a chapter or two a week or would you like them to stay the length they are and get 3-4 updates a week?**

It never pays to lie about being sick, Rey discovered, when she woke up Tuesday morning with a dull, throbbing headache and a throat so sore she could hardly swallow. Her limbs felt heavier than normal and standing up took herculean effort. The shower helped clear her head, but the pain persisted and it was obvious that she was not well. Getting dressed was difficult because the room kept spinning, but she had to get to her lab. Logically, she knew that being this ill and working with tools was not wise, but her stubbornness won out: she was not going to let some stress-induced cold win. 

She did, however, decide not to drive her car to class, determining that her swimming head and operating large machinery were not two things that went together. For once, she sat down on the bus and rested her head on the window. When Falcon came into sight, she pressed for her stop, deciding impulsively to get a tea with lots of honey to soothe her throat that was undulating with pain. She regretted that decision when she entered and saw Ren seated at a table. He looked up, too quickly Rey thought, and saw her enter. He wasn’t alone this morning. A pretty, dark haired older woman was next to him and when the woman saw the way Ren’s head snapped to the door, she turned and looked at Rey. 

Rey was lightheaded and trying to keep her feet moving. She heard a feminine voice call out Han’s name, and there was a peculiar rattling sound, but the dizziness Rey was feeling kept getting worse and she reached out to one of the armchairs near her, struggling to stay standing, closing her eyes to stop the room from spinning. Her legs were shaking and she might have fallen if it wasn’t for her steel grip on the chair and the bracing arm from the back. She looked up and Chewie’s face was full of concern. She could see his mouth moving, but all she could hear was a buzzing noise. She leaned against him and let him half guide, half carry her to one of the worn sofas. 

“I just…wanted tea,” Rey almost couldn’t recognize her own voice. Weak and shaky, she sounded far away even to her own ears. She tried to look around and saw Ren standing at the same table he’d been seated at when she entered, hands clenched at his sides. Rey couldn’t decipher the look on his face. Anger? Concern? She felt something cool and wet on her forehead and saw the pretty older woman who’d been by Ren’s side earlier hovering above her. She was gently pressing a cold washcloth to Rey’s flushed skin and Rey closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of the cool fabric against her face. 

When she next opened her eyes, Finn’s face was the first she saw. He was studying her carefully and when he saw her eyes open, he spoke.

“She’s awake!” There were rustling noises and Rey’s vision was filled with Chewie, Han, and the woman from earlier. Now that Rey’s vision wasn’t wavering, she saw the woman more clearly and she noticed that she had the prettiest brown eyes.

“You okay, kiddo?” Han asked. Rey turned her attention to him and saw the way his concern etched deeper grooves around his mouth.

“What time is it?” Rey’s voice was gravelly and her throat protested at the strain of speaking. 

“It’s almost ten,” Finn informed her, and Rey’s eyes widened.

“My lab!”

“Don’t worry about it,” it was the woman speaking now, and her voice was reassuring. “I sent Ben to speak to your professor. Having the word of another teacher helps and your professor was understanding. He told you to rest and that you can make your lab up Friday morning with the Monday/Wednesday students.”

Rey was taken aback by her thoughtfulness and she tried to smile, but she knew that it was a wavering little thing that hurt her dry lips.

“Do you think you can stand, Peanut? I’d like to drive you home.” Finn’s voice was soft and Rey felt comforted by the familiarity.

“Chewie can carry her,” Han said. 

“I don’t think we should move her that far just yet,” the woman said. “She’s sick enough that she passed out. We need to give her a little time. Maybe Chewie should take her to the back somewhere.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” Rey protested, trying to sit up. The woman gently pressed her back down into the couch and Rey let her. “I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are?”

“I’m Leia,” the woman replied with a small smile. “Han is my husband.”

Rey wondered why she’d never seen her here before, but didn’t say anything. “It’s nice to meet you.”

The woman laughed. “You don’t have to waste your voice on niceties, dear.”

The bell over the door jingled and a few moments later a new face appeared in front of her. It was probably the last face she wanted to see. She knew she’d have to thank Professor Ren at some point for speaking on her behalf, but she wasn’t feeling well enough to deal with whatever snarky response she knew would come from his mouth.

“Your essay is still due tomorrow, I hope you know.”

Rey’s mouth thinned and she was getting ready to tell him off when Leia beat him to it.

“Ben! The poor girl is sick, I’m sure the last thing she wants to hear is you reminding her of schoolwork!” 

“I finished it last night anyway,” Rey said.

“Is that what you were up late doing?” Finn asked, turning to glare at the newcomer to the group. “The lack of sleep is probably why you’re sick.”

Professor Ren didn’t appear to have an ounce of shame. He shrugged.

“I’m not going to lower my standards because someone is sick.” He walked away then, the bell jangled again, this time more loudly, as if the door it was perched above was yanked open with excessive force. 

“Do your parents live nearby?” The question was posed by Leia and Rey felt a fission of embarrassment. 

“No.”

The woman’s look was fierce. “Then _I’m_ going to make you some soup.” She stalked off, presumably to her car to start readying the promised soup.

“Well, kid, looks like she’s decided you’re family now,” Han told her with a smile. 

Rey started to laugh, but it dissolved into a cough. “No offence Han, but the last thing I want is to be in a family with your son.”

Han tossed his head back with his own laugh and even Finn smiled.

 

Getting Rey home hadn’t proven to be too difficult. She was snuggled on the couch, at Finn’s insistence so she could watch tv if she wanted, but also, she suspected, so he could watch her to ensure she wasn’t overworking herself. Finn had bought her two different types of tea and some orange juice and Rey was touched by his concern. This was the first time she’d been sick around him and he watched her avidly to make sure she was okay. When there was knocking at the door, Finn hurried to answer it. Rey was taking a mouthful of tea when Ren entered the room, holding a Tupperware container and looking incredibly uncomfortable. 

“For some reason, my mother decided I should be the one to bring this to you.”

The container was large and obviously filled with the aforementioned soup and Rey sat up, holding her hand out. He gave it to her, his awkwardness rolling off him in waves. She thanked him and his shoulders stiffened.

“I didn’t make it.”

“Then pass my thanks on to your mother.” Rey was exasperated. She didn’t understand why, at every turn, Ren chose to aggravate or bait her. He lingered for another moment before nodding briskly and turning to leave.

“He _is_ weird,” Finn said after he closed the door behind the taller man.

“I told you so.”

 

By Wednesday morning, Rey was feeling well enough to venture into school. She avoided Falcon, not wanting to run into Ren there. While her head was no longer pounding, she was sure if she had to hear so much as a single remark from him, her head would probably explode. She decided she’d pop by later to return the container and thank Leia for the soup she’d made. 

When she made it to the class, she was early enough that the door wasn’t unlocked yet. There was a group of her classmates hovering nearby and Rey settled herself near enough to them that she could hear what they were saying.

“I stayed up all night writing this stupid paper, I’d better get a passing grade on it.”

“This is my third revision. I got an ‘F’ on the writing sample and I’m afraid I’ll do badly on this too. I need this class to make my English requirement.”

“Relax, no one got above a ‘D’ on the writing sample. Almost everyone I talked to got an ‘F’. I think Ren is just a hardass.”

Rey blinked in surprise, realizing for the first time that the ‘C’ she got might have been the highest grade he’d given on that assignment. No wonder he’d looked so surprised by her anger.

“How the hell is he the teacher anyway?”

“He’s Skywalker’s nephew.” The voice that supplied that information was soft and girly.

“Of course you’d know that, you have a thing for him.”

Rey was surprised again, trying to assess why anyone would like Ren. There was a scoff and it was as if one of the guys in the group had been reading her mind.

“How could you like him? He’s an asshole.”

“What?” the girl said again. “Am I the only one who thinks he’s kind of got that Darcy thing going on? Tall, dark haired, intelligent, but proud and unapproachable. I’m into it. Not to mention he’s just hot in general, and tall as hell.”

“He is cute,” another girl said and Rey had to stop herself from interjecting that the man was an ass.

“He’s still a dick.”

Rey found herself agreeing vehemently with that statement. She had been so annoyed by Ren from the very beginning of their meeting, so put off by his arrogance and penchant for black that she hadn’t really looked at him. He wasn’t bad looking, she decided. Kind of attractive in a peculiar way. His looks weren’t enough, in her book, to cancel out his terrible demeanor. 

The group quieted quickly and Rey looked up and saw Ren approaching. He looked like he was in a foul mood, a scowl etched onto his face deeply. He went past her without even sparing her a glance and unlocked the door. Rey was about to pull herself off the floor when the same boy who’d asked her out previously held out a hand to help her. She took it, thanking him for his help. He chatted at her amiably, staying by her side while they entered the classroom. 

She couldn’t miss the glare Ren shot the two of them when they walked by him and Rey met his glare and returned one of her own. She decided that the girl who had a crush on him was entirely insane. How could anyone like someone who was such an ass?

She had to walk up to him to turn in her paper and his gaze was making her uncomfortable. She didn’t understand why he was staring at her so heatedly. She set the neatly stapled papers on top of the stack that had already accumulated there and took her seat, aware of the way that his eyes followed her to the back of the room. Rey glances around and saw the girl who’d earlier professed her admiration for Ren glancing back and forth between the two of them and Rey immediately worried that the girl would see Ren’s irritation with her and mistake it for something that it wasn’t. Because it certainly wasn’t anything other than annoyance. Just because he’d looked concerned for half a second the day before, didn’t mean he was any less aggravated by her today. Sure, he’d brought her soup, but he’d been compelled to by his exceptionally kind mother. 

The way that Ren lectured was standard by now. He never wrote things down, choosing to lecture freeform and occasionally pose questions. During the last class, Rey had noticed him staring at her a little more than necessary, but this time he was pointedly not looking at her and she found that just as interesting. His eyes would move over the classroom and stop just short of where she was sitting. Rey wondered what she’d have to do to compel him to look at her, and then she stopped, aghast. She didn’t want him to look at her. She shook herself slightly and tried to focus on the words that were being said, not the man that said them. It was difficult. Now that the topic of his appearance had been brought up, Rey was finding it hard to stop thinking about it. He’d tucked his hair behind his rather large ears during a particularly heated discussion with one of the students, and Rey was finding herself fascinated by those ears and the two moles on the side of his face that were exposed by the hair being moved out of the way. She was entranced by the way his mouth moved when he was really interested in something that he was saying and she wondered what he’d look like if he smiled.

She needed to stop. This was a foolish path she was heading down. It was time to focus. She couldn’t be distracted by something as silly as an attractive teacher. But wait, when did she start classifying him as such? Everyone was packing up their bags, and Rey realized, belatedly, that class was over. She tried to get her stuff together as quickly as she possibly could, but everyone else had made their way out by the time she wrestled her laptop into her bag. She tried to leave quickly, but Ren’s voice called her back. She paused, halfway to the door, and turned to him, her face flushed.

“You should go to the health center. You look like you might still have a fever.”

Rey nodded wordlessly and tried to make her way to the door again only to be stopped once more by his voice.

“Hold on a moment.” His footsteps were approaching from behind quickly Rey tried to slow her rapidly beating heart. “I think you might have dropped this.” It was her phone. Somehow, during her mad dash to the door, her phone must have fallen from her stupidly small pockets and made no noise as it hit the carpeted floor. He held it out to her and she hesitated, not wanting to take it from him because it meant her fingers might brush his. She grabbed for it carefully and breathed a sigh of relief when she made no contact with him. He strode past her and pushed the door open with one long arm, gesturing for her to go first and she had to pass by him closely to leave and she tried to not notice the way he smelled like a crisp autumn breeze. 

But she definitely did not have a thing for her teacher, she told herself over and over as she walked to her next class. That would be ridiculous. 

 

Her next class seemed to slip past more quickly than she could have imagined and Rey was trying to decide whether she’d risk venturing to Falcon to return Leia’s container and grab a drink. Squaring her shoulders, she decided that she wasn’t going to let Ren keep her from doing anything she wanted, and she walked to her car to grab the Tupperware from her trunk. She decided to walk to Falcon, thinking that some fresh air would be good for her. She wasn’t as ill as she had been the day before, but she certainly wasn’t back to her usual self. The cold had settled into her chest, making each cough sound like she was someone who smoked two packs a day for the last several years. 

The coffeehouse was packed again and Rey saw that Leia was behind the register and Han and Chewie were making drinks. She considered offering to help, but thought about the fact that she was still sick and decided that she wouldn’t want to risk getting someone else ill. With a third person behind the counter, they seemed to be doing better. She watched them run back and forth, feeling bad that she couldn’t give any assistance when Ren appeared carrying a large box. He had taken off his coat and rolled up the sleeve of his black button down to reveal lean, muscled forearms.

She did not have a thing for him. Rey didn’t have crushes. She’d been infatuated exactly twice in her whole life and the feelings had been gone within a matter of a few days. She was not someone who could be so easily affected by a few inches of pale, freckled skin. Just because he was attractive didn’t mean she had to be attracted to him. But as he placed the box down and straightened to his full height Rey couldn’t take her eyes off him and when he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out an elastic to hold back his long hair, Rey had to admit defeat. Just because she was attracted to him, didn’t mean she liked him. She knew she was grasping at straws, but she blamed her sudden peculiar fascination on the fact that she was still sick. At any rate, his personality was still enough of a deterrent that she wasn’t overly concerned.

When it was her turn up front, Leia’s eyes lit up and her smile went from clearly fake to full and genuine.

“Rey! Are you feeling better today?” At the sound of her name, Rey saw Ren stop what he was doing and turn to the register. 

“I’m a lot better, thank you.” Rey handed the container to Leia. “I think the soup helped a lot.”

Leia’s soft brown eyes twinkled. “I used to make that soup for Ben when he was sick. I still do when he’s around. I’m sorry that I didn’t bring it personally, but Ben insisted that he be the one to take it to you and I didn’t see any need to argue. I hope he didn’t antagonize you further.”

Rey was taken aback. When Ren had appeared in her apartment, he’d been quick to tell her that his mother had forced him to bring her the soup. Why would he have lied? She looked to him and he’d obviously heard what his mother said because he was doing his best to avoid looking at her and the tips of his ears were red. 

“He was nice,” Rey replied, softly. Ren’s eyes flicked to her and his expression was unreadable. “I just wanted to get a tea.”

“Ask her if she’s eaten lunch yet,” Han called to Leia and the older woman’s eyes seemed to pierce into Rey.

“Have you had lunch, Rey?”

Rey considered lying for only a moment, but she knew that those eyes would see right through any falsehood. Instead she shook her head. 

“Once this dies down a little, I’d love to take you out to lunch.” When Rey opened her mouth to protest Leia held one hand up. Rey subconsciously obeyed her nonverbal call for silence. “Don’t say a word. I’m constantly surrounded by men and they drive me insane. I need to talk to another woman or I’ll lose my mind.”

“Mom, she’s my student,” Ren protested for Rey and Leia turned her steely eyes to him.

“She’s not my student! And if you want to be technical, she’s Luke’s student. It’s not as if you’ll be coming with us. I didn’t invite you.”

Ren’s jaw clenched and he took the tea his father nudged into his hands, holding it out to Rey. She hesitated for a moment, looking toward Han, who grinned at her in a mischievous way that told Rey the man knew exactly what he was doing. There was no way for Rey to avoid touching Ren’s hands this time, but she refused to look at him. She took her tea as quickly as she could, muttering her thanks as she tried to find a seat as far away from the counter as she could. Several times during the next thirty minutes, she would glance up and notice Ren staring at her. She tried not to think he watched her for any singular reason, but she couldn’t help wondering if he was having the same thoughts as her. She pushed that idea as far down as it would go, mentally stomping it into the ground. Whatever she was feeling for him, she was certain it wasn’t returned and she was even more sure that with a few good night’s sleep and a little distance things would go back to normal. 

Besides, handsome or not, he was still an ass and he would say or do something that made her stop thinking of him as attractive at all. All she would have to do is wait.


	5. Lunch with Leia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Settle in for the long haul, guys. This is a slow burn, emphasis on burn. Thank you for all the reviews, they make me smile whenever I see them. Depending on how busy work is this weekend, there might not be another update until Monday.**

Rey was deeply invested in the reading she had to do for one of her classes when Leia approached her. 

“It looks like things are finally slowing down here. Are you ready for lunch?”

“Oh,” Rey looked down at her textbook and closed it, shoving it into her bag. “Yes, but my car is on campus.”

“Don’t be silly, I’m not going to make you waste your gas. I’m driving.”

Rey had no choice but to follow in Leia’s wake while Ren watched the two of them from behind the counter. She noticed that, much like her son, people seemed to move out of her way without thinking. Though she was small, several inches shorter than Rey, she seemed to radiate a grace and command that few would try to challenge. Rey followed her to a non-descript silver sedan and slid into the passenger seat. The car was nice, new and spotless on the inside. It also smelled faintly floral and Rey breathed it in, glancing around for whatever air freshener was in the car. She couldn’t locate one and she was mildly disappointed. Whatever this was, she wanted one for her car, one for her room, and one to hang in front of her face. 

“So,” Leia said, clicking her seat belt. “What type of food do you like?”

“Anything, really,” Rey replied. “I’m not picky.”

Leia smiled at her and put the car into gear. “So, you’re not a local girl since your parents aren’t nearby. Where are you from?”

“Most recently Phoenix,” Rey responded. 

“You don’t sound like you’re from Phoenix,” Leia remarked, patiently waiting at a stop sign for the straggling college students to walk through the crosswalk.

“Oh, yeah. I used to live in London with my grandfather. When he died, there was some distant relative who said she’d take me who lived in the U.S. As it turns out, she wasn’t cut out for raising a child, so she voluntarily surrendered me into the system. I bounced around for a bit and ended up in Arizona. After I graduated, I wanted to get away and Niima offered me a full scholarship.”

They were at a stoplight and Leia was watching her closely. “You poor girl. My parents both died when I was your age, but I can’t imagine being alone in the world as a child.”

Rey ducked her head, embarrassed before forcing a small smile. “It wasn’t so bad, and I’m not alone anymore. I have Finn and Poe.”

“You have me, too,” Leia asserted firmly. “I’m more than willing to act as surrogate mother.” Rey’s smile was genuine now and Leia’s right hand reached out to hers and grasped her twisted, tense hands firmly. “Don’t be so nervous, my dear. I’m not going to hurt you.”

The ride to the small Italian restaurant was pleasant and Rey and Leia talked about broad, general topics. Rey wondered briefly if this was what it would have been like to have a mother or an older sister. She always longed for someone to take a real interest in her, and while Poe’s mom was wonderful and loving, she wasn’t able to visit as often as she’d like and it was nice for it to be just her and Leia. Leia had an endless number of questions for Rey and Rey answered them to the best of her abilities while Leia reiterated that if there was anything Rey was uncomfortable answering, that was perfectly alright.

When they arrived at the restaurant, they were ushered into a small booth near the back and Leia urged Rey to order whatever she wanted. Rey laughed at her repeated insistence.

“Has Han pulled you in on his and Poe’s little joke?”

Leia set her menu down. “What joke, dear?”

And so, Rey told her all about Mom Dameron, who plied her with food and sweets whenever she saw her and how Poe had taken notice of his mother doing so and had decided to continue it and how it had leaked over to Han and Chewie who constantly seemed to insist on feeding her whenever they saw her. Leia’s lips pursed throughout the story and by the end of it, she was shaking her head.

“I can’t say that I’ve heard that story, but I don’t think it’s a joke though, Rey. From what I’ve heard from Han and your friend Finn, you tend to get wrapped up in school and work easily. I think that these are all people who care about you, reminding you to eat because they want you to be healthy.”

Rey hadn’t considered that this was not a game her friends were all secretly playing. She paused, reflecting on the way that Poe and Finn constantly pressed her to take seconds when they ate together and how Poe frequently snuck snack food into her bag so she was never without something at school if she forgot to eat. Then there was Han and Chewie, who were always trying to find an excuse to bring her a cookie, a pastry, and sometimes even overstuffed sandwiches while she was there studying for hours. 

“I never thought of it like that. I’m still used to not eating as frequently as everyone else does, I guess.”

Leia immediately demanded to know why and Rey relayed to her stories of her foster homes that were always overly full of children who needed more than the resources that were at hand. No one insisted Rey come to the table when food was ready and she’d been a single minded child who was difficult to pull from whatever was occupying her time and, often, by the time she realized that she was missing dinner, all the food was gone and she’d go to bed hungry. Leia was obviously upset by this and she reached across the table to hold one of Rey’s hands again. 

“Well, I’m going to be in town for an extended period of time now, so I’d like to make these lunches a regular thing. I enjoy talking to you. Han and Ben are so competitive with each other that whenever I’m with either of them, or both, they spend the whole time trying to one up each other. I need a break from all the testosterone.” 

Rey smiled. “I can only imagine what Professor Ren is like outside of class.”

“Oh, that silly boy,” Leia said, clucking her tongue, motioning towards the watching waiter, who started to walk to the table. “One of these days he’s going to just give up on using his pen name as his real one and start going by Ben again.”

Before Rey could press her about that, the waiter took their order and picked up their menus, promising them that he would be back with bread and salad in just a moment. 

“He’s writing a book, you know. He won’t let me read any of it, but he’s been struck with the most terrible writer’s block for such a long time. When his uncle asked him to be his assistant teacher for one of his classes, I think he was relieved to be doing something productive.”

Rey thought about the way Ren spoke, and she wasn’t surprised that he was an aspiring author.

“I have to ask, why does he wear so much black?”

“Pure stubbornness,” Leia replied. “He’s colorblind and he wears all black because he’d rather do that than risk looking silly. I’ve offered to help him organize his clothes in such a way that he can put outfits together that match, but he refuses and sticks to looking like some dour creature in a Gothic romance.”

Rey was taken aback. “Isn’t it hard for him? Writing a novel when he can’t accurately describe a lot of colors?”

Leia looked thoughtful. “That’s an aspect of it I’d never considered before, but you’re right. That would present a challenge.”

Rey was quiet for a moment. She’d always been lucky enough to have good vision and she wondered what life would be like if she couldn’t distinguish colors with ease. It was sad that the man wanted to be a writer and yet his world was filled with less vivid colors than the average person. 

While they waited for their entrees to arrive, the two women chatted easily over bread and salad about Rey’s classes, Finn and Poe, and she and Leia spent a lot of time laughing over Poe’s fat cat BB-8.

“We looked for him everywhere! Poe was near tears thinking that he somehow got out and something happened to him when Finn went to the cabinet to grab some tea for Poe, only to find BB-8 stuck on the top shelf, happy as can be, eating from his bag of cat food. He was so full that when we finally, very gently, pulled him down and put on back on the floor, he settled himself on his back, tummy fully distended and meowed very plaintively for hours. We all felt very sympathetic until the next day when we discovered him trying to make his way up the counter and into the cabinet again.”

When Leia finished wiping the mirthful tears from her eyes, she asked Rey why the cat was named BB-8. Rey explained that he was Poe’s mom’s cat’s kitten and that he’d been the last of eight born. He’d been a scrawny little thing and they were hesitant to name him, almost certain that he’d die, so they called him ‘Baby 8’.

“When he lived, the nickname just kind of stuck, so Poe altered it a little and most of the time we just call him BB.”

The waiter brought their food then and Rey’s mouth watered. She’d ordered chicken marsala. It wasn’t something she’d tried before, but she loved mushrooms and the idea of it sounded delightful. The first taste was heavenly and she realized how hungry she still was even after the piece of bread and plate of salad she’d had. Maybe there was some solid reasoning behind everyone’s concern, she realized, because she hadn’t bothered with breakfast that day. Aside from commenting on the quality of the food, they were silent for a few minutes and Rey savored the taste and smell. 

“Ren talks about you, you know,” Leia commented casually. Rey thought it sounded too casual to her own ears and she looked up in surprise. The older woman was staring at her, a knowing look on her face. “He doesn’t talk about his life that much in general, but he talks about you. Mostly about how you infuriate him at times, but I think that’s all some defense mechanism of his. You get under his skin. It’s nice to see it.”

“Why would that be nice?”

“When he was younger, there was an incident. He had a girlfriend when he was in college that everyone, including him, thought that he was going to marry. He was planning on it when he discovered that she and his best friend had been sleeping together for almost the length of their relationship. After he ended things with her and got into a physical altercation with his former friend, he shut down completely. I didn’t even see him for several months, he said he was too busy writing his book. By the time we met up again, he was telling people his name was Kylo Ren and he’d retreated into himself completely. You bring something out in him that I’ve missed seeing.”

“Irritation?” Rey asked, faintly, knowing that wasn’t what Leia was going to say, but hoping in vain that the woman wouldn’t say something that might make what Rey was feeling solidify further in the pit of her stomach.

“Hope.”

 

Leia offered to drop Rey off by her car, but she declined, saying that Falcon was far enough. As she strode past the large windowed façade, the door opened and Ren walked out, buttoned up firmly in his shirt and cloaked in his dark coat. He made his way to her determinedly and Rey realized that he’d been watching from one of the windows, hoping to catch her after lunch with Leia. 

“What did you and my mother talk about?”

Rey wanted to think he was being rude, but his voice was softer than she’d ever heard it, so she bit back the retort on her tongue and answered honestly.

“A lot of things. I have to get to my car, though. It’s almost time for work and I can’t be late.”

Ren blanched. “Surely you’re not going to work tonight? You’ve been sick. I doubt you’re full recovered.”

Rey started to walk away and the man fell into step beside her. Rey tried to ignore the way her heart was beating hard enough that it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.

“I can’t miss another day, I’m not certain I’ll still have a job if I do.”

“So quit. Han’s offered you a job at Falcon. Take it and be done with the warehouse work. You know Han will work with your school schedule happily and you’ll get food and drink for free.”

“Why are you so concerned for my well-being?”

His cheeks pinked slightly. “It wouldn’t look good if, during the first class I ever taught, one of my students didn’t live through the semester.”

Rey watched the way he looked straight ahead when he said that, as if he didn’t want to make eye contact. “Your mother told me that you talk about me from time to time.”

The pink turned to full on red. “My mother talks too much, apparently.”

“Don’t worry, all she told me was that you’re crazy about me.”

It was supposed to be sarcastic, but somehow it sounded like anything but. Ben’s sharply indrawn breath was like a hiss. Rey felt her face grow warm and she knew that she was blushing too.

“She has no right to say something like that. You are my student for the next 14 weeks—”

“I was joking!” Rey sputtered the words out. “I know you barely tolerate me as a student let alone anything else.”

“What I feel doesn’t matter. I’m your teacher. There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed.”

Rey looked over at him, wanting to ask what would happen after the semester was over. He was still flushed, but he was looking down at her and she saw the heated gaze for what it really was. She took a deep breath.

“You’re right. It wouldn’t look good for either of us and I have a scholarship.”

He looked vaguely disappointed, as if he was hoping for a fight. Rey almost wanted to give him one. She wanted to find something that would restore the balance between the two of them, turning him back into the teacher she couldn’t stand and her back into his most irritating student. She couldn’t think of anything, but tried to deescalate the situation as much as she possibly could. 

“We probably should try to avoid each other outside of class as much as possible,” she remarked. His face was a picture of disappointment. “What’s it like being colorblind?” she asked suddenly, her curiosity in full swing. She also wanted to change the subject to something a little safer and more appropriate.

“It makes describing things a lot harder. I have Deuteranopia, which means colors like red aren’t as vibrant as everyone describes them, but sometimes I get a vague impression of what they could seem like to other people.”

“In what way?”

They were drawing near to her car now and they both subconsciously slowed their pace as their walk drew to an end. 

“Red is vibrant and bright. It’s vivid, it has an irrepressible energy. Occasionally, I encounter people who I categorize as being red.”

The way he was looking at her made it incredibly obvious that she fell into the red category.

“People with that kind of energy are irresistible. You just want to be around them all the time, they draw you in even when common sense says you need to pull away.”

They were at her car now and Rey found herself backing away from his advancing steps until her back hit the steel of her car. He pressed forward until he closed enough of the gap that the way they were standing would have been considered by anyone watching as highly inappropriate, but Rey had parked in a corner of a back lot where there were few cars and the area was deserted. 

“I think we both need to listen to common sense right now,” she replied, her voice weak. He was too close and she as overwhelmed by the sheer size of him and what his proximity was doing to her. 

“You’re red,” he told her. He stated it like a fact. She swallowed, looking up into his heated gaze, his face closer to hers than it had ever been before.

“What color are you?” she queried, her heartbeat thudding out a rapid rhythm in her chest.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I wonder what color I would make on you if I touched you.”

He was drawing even closer and an arm that she now knew was firm with long lean muscles braced itself on her car and his face drew near hers. Rey licked her lips and watched the way his eyes darts to her mouth. He was a breath away from her when he spoke.

“Get in the car before I do something I regret, Rey,” his voice was ragged as though he was struggling with the words. Rey wanted to stay, but there was something about the look in his eyes that unnerved her. It was almost a feral hunger, as if he didn’t want to just kiss her, but devour her where she stood. For one wild moment, she thought she might let him.

Heart pounding, she rushed away from him, unlocking the car door and sliding in. She pulled away, watching the way he stared after her car, trying desperately to calm her breathing and ignore the slick feeling between her thighs. It was only after she got to work, which was blissfully slow that night, that she realized he’d called her by her first name. She recalled his speech on the first day of class about the professionalism and formality of using surnames only. It made sense though, there was nothing professional about the way he looked at her.

 

Unkar let her leave early and it was before midnight when she parked her car. She was tired, her chest was achy, and her feet hurt. She wanted nothing more than to sleep, but when she fell into bed, her thoughts were occupied by Ren. He’d declared that there was a line that he, as her teacher, could not cross, but then he’d nearly pinned her up against her car and demanded in an uncharacteristically rough voice that she run leave. The line had most assuredly been crossed; the only question that remained was how much further they would cross it. Rey would have never considered herself the type to start an illicit affair with a teacher, but here she was. 

She tried flipping onto her side and then her stomach, but she ended up on her back again, too worked up to sleep. She needed to get away. It wasn’t wise for her to leave the relative safety of the apartment, but she just wanted to go for a walk to work off the excess energy. Before she knew it, she was much further from her apartment than she intended to be and she turned around to start back in the direction she came. Bright headlights filled her vision and then flicked off, the car they were attached to coming to a stop. Rey was immediately on edge. The door opened. 

“What the fuck are you doing out here in the middle of the night?” It was Ren and Rey was really starting to wonder if there was some cosmic energy in the universe trying to force them together.

“I needed to get some air. I couldn’t sleep. What are you doing?”

“I wanted to go for a drive. I couldn’t sleep either. Get in the car, I’ll drive you home.”

“I can walk,” she informed him, worried about what would happen if she got back into close quarters with him. 

“It’s not safe for you out here!” He was obviously annoyed with her.

“Is it much safer for me in there?” She gestured toward the car and he shrugged. 

“I won’t mug you, at least.” 

Rey snorted, considered her options and strode toward to car. He hit the switch to unlock her door and she pulled it open. She was back in his car, a place she never imagined she’d be in once, let alone twice. He flipped the car around and drove back in the direction of her apartment building. 

“Of all the classes to teach, why did it have to be yours?”

Rey looked at him. He was looking straight ahead.

“There are a dozen ways I could have met you, why did it have to be like this?”

Rey leaned her head back against the headrest of the car. “I don’t know.”

“I can’t risk it.”

“Neither can I.”

“I really want to.” Rey was about to agree with that sentiment when he cut her off. “Don’t. Please. If you say it, too it’s going to be even more difficult.” She shut her mouth, acknowledging the truth in it. 

They rode the rest of the way in silence and when the car pulled up to her apartment building, Ren parked and turned it off, turning to her.

“I’ll wait in her until I see you get to your door. I’d walk you up, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t want to leave.”

Rey sat next to him for a minute and just took him in. His hair was disheveled, as if he really had just gotten out of bed and run his hands through it half a dozen times. This was the least amount of clothing she’d seen him in, even at the gym he’d had on a sweatshirt. But now, he was only wearing black jeans and a black undershirt, she sleeves of which were tight around his biceps. When she looked at his face, there he was back to looking at her with hunger.

“What color are your eyes?” He asked abruptly. “Brown and green look very similar to me.”

“Hazel,” she told him. “So both brown and green.”

His hand stretched toward her face and his fingertips grazed her cheekbones slightly, leaving heated spots of flesh in their wake. His hand wound its way into her hair.

“Ben, I—”

He cut her off. “I don’t use that name anymore.” He sighed, heavily pulling away from her. “Go home, Miss Kenobi.” 

When Rey walked away, she wondered what might have happened if his real name hadn’t slipped from her mouth.


	6. A New Opportunity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thank you for all the great reviews, they always put a smile on my face. And Happy New Year! The chapter is a little late because I spent some extra time with my partner this weekend and didn't have as much time to sit and write. If there are any errors, I do apologize! It's 1 am where I am and my eyes are growing a little heavy, so I'm not sure how well I proofread this. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Enjoy the chapter!**

The next morning when Rey woke up, it was to the smell of coffee. She was confused until she opened her eyes and saw Finn holding a to-go cup from Falcon near her face. She sat up and stared at him, reaching for the cup.

“Good morning Peanut,” Finn said, handing her the cup with a smile. Rey took a sip and closed her eyes momentarily, enjoying the taste. “Let’s go get some breakfast before you have to go to class.”

Rey agreed happily and dressed quickly after ushering Finn out of the room. Minutes later, they were on their way to a small, inexpensive diner they’d discovered during finals a few months earlier when the winter/spring semester was ending and they found themselves starving after cramming for hours and desperately in need of pancakes and greasy bacon. Rey was telling Finn about one of her classes as they slid into a booth. 

“I have to stop you there, Rey. There’s something I want to ask you about.”

Rey smiled at him. “What’s up?”

“What’s going on between you and Professor Ren?”

Rey’s mouth dropped for a moment. When she realized that her dumbfounded expression was probably every bit as incriminating as sputtering out a denial she did her best to neutralize her expression, closing her mouth with a snap. She tried to calm her nerves before responding to Finn’s assertion. 

“Nothing!” she blurted out, her face coloring. Finn looked disbelieving. “There’s nothing going on, Finn. He’s my teacher.”

“Who brought you home last night, Rey?”

Rey felt some of the heat drain from her face. “I—”

“Because I saw you from the window and I saw the car that Ren drives when he left after you passed out to go talk to your teacher. It was the same car that brought you home in the middle of the night last night. It was his car, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Rey admitted, but before she could explain, a server bustled over and took their order. Rey was out of sorts and manage to mumble what she wanted before slipping into an embarrassed silence while Finn ordered. When the woman left, she continued. “Look, it’s not what you think.”

“I hope it’s not. You could get in a lot of trouble. Rey, you could lose your scholarship.”

“I know that. Don’t you think that I, of all people, know the consequences of something like that?” Rey braced her elbows on the table and laid her head in her hands. “I went for a walk last night because I couldn’t sleep. I got further away from home than I intended and he happened to be driving by and he wouldn’t leave me alone until I agreed he could drive me home.”

“So, he forced you?” Finn’s voice was raised and he looked outraged. 

“Shhh. Don’t make it sound like that. He was concerned for me walking around in the middle of the night. He didn’t want me to get hurt, so he drove me home. It was a polite gesture.” She obviously couldn’t mention the heat that had sparked between the two of them or the way that he’d caressed her cheek and wound his hands through her hair. 

Finn sat back in the booth, eyeing Rey cautiously. “So, the two of you aren’t involved in any way?”

“No,” Rey reassured him.

“Nothing has happened?”

Rey swallowed, worrying her lip with her teeth. She was wondering whether she should just tell him the whole truth and ask for his advice. He noticed her hesitancy. 

“Rey?”

“Nothing has happened,” she began. “But, things have almost happened.”

Finn’s face was surprised, then resigned. “Like what?”

“He almost kissed me. Twice.”

Finn sucked in a breath and shook his head. “You shouldn’t do that Rey.”

Rey felt helpless. “I know. It’s impossible. I don’t even like him.”

“He likes you,” Finn said. “I saw the way he looked at you when you were sick and he knew you couldn’t see his face. He was fixated on you, like he couldn’t look away.”

Rey exhaled through her teeth, making a whooshing sound. “I don’t think he likes me. I think he’s attracted to me and he’s frustrated because he can’t do anything about it without risking his job.”

Finn looked disbelieving. “I think it’s more than that.”

“It’s not,” Rey asserted once more. “I’m pretty sure I irritate him to no end, the same way he does for me.”

Their food came then and they ate in relative quiet. Unlike their normal, companionable silence, Rey felt the uncomfortable air like a stab in the gut. When Finn drove them back to the apartment, Rey struggled to find something, anything, to talk about that would relieve the tenseness, but Finn was always the one who managed to easily break awkward situations and so she floundered. When she grabbed her bag and started to head to her car for class, he recalled her with a single word.

“Rey?” She doubled back, staring at him in silent inquiry. “Be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt and I think that he could hurt you in one way or another.”

Rey’s smile was thin. “Me? I’m way tougher than you think.”

“I know, Peanut,” Rey’s heart leapt at the familiar endearment that let her know that they were back to more pleasant terms. “But I still worry about you. You’re my girl.”

As she drove to school, Rey worried over what Finn said. He was right. What was happening was incredibly dangerous and she needed to put a stop to it.

 

Class flew by and Rey was on her way to the Falcon, thinking she’d run into Ren there when someone shouted her name. She turned to see Ello Asty, the boy from her English class whose name she’d _finally_ learned jogging toward her.

“What are you up to?” He said when he caught up to her.

Rey shrugged a shoulder and continued to walk. “I’m going to a coffeehouse nearby to get some homework done.”

He fell into step beside her. “Did you get your sonnet for class done yet?” 

Rey grimaced. “No. I’m not good at poetry.”

The boy grinned at her. “Me neither. Maybe we can work on our sonnets together.”

“I don’t know about that,” Rey hedged. He seemed like a nice guy, but he was over eager and didn’t seem to know when to quit. That combination seemed dangerous to Rey.

“Come on,” he said, excited. “It’ll be fun!”

They’d reached Falcon by this point, and he hurried to open the door for her. Rey entered and immediately saw that Ren was behind the counter once more, this time at the register begrudgingly helping. Rey saw that the girl he was talking to seemed intimidated by his frank stare and was obviously having trouble telling him what she wanted.

“Is that Professor Ren?” Ello’s voice was louder than it needed to be and Ren glanced toward the door. His eyes fixed on Rey and his look changed completely. The irritation dropped off his face and was replaced with something akin to hunger. Then his eyes darted to the boy behind her and he narrowed them, taking in the two of them walking into Falcon together. 

It wasn’t a bad thing. She had to tell him that whatever was happening between them needed to stop and maybe having Ello with her would make that inevitable conversation easier, but Ello was moving away from her now, trying to convince her to go somewhere else and when she wouldn’t budge, he told her, halfway out the door, that he had something he had to do somewhere else. She stood in the line, alone, trying to ignore Ren’s glower as she steadily approached the front. By the time it was her turn, he was downright scowling.

“What can I get for you today, Miss Kenobi?” His voice was tight, uneven and clearly upset. 

Rey stood taller and frowned right back at him. “A large iced green tea, thank you.”

Ren glare was hot and Rey felt like yelling at him that he had no right to be upset. She chose to look past him and call out a greeting to Han who waved at her, busy as usual, but happy to see her. Ren cleared his throat.

“I have other customers. You can wait to the side for your drink.”

Rey’s eyes snapped back to him and narrowed. “You haven’t charged me yet.”

“It’s on me, just move aside.” His voice dropped down in volume as he said that and Rey saw the way he glanced at the small line behind her. She opened her mouth to protest, but Ren called out “Next” and she begrudgingly stepped aside. 

Her name was called quickly and she picked it up, debating taking it to go. She decided that Ello had made a point about working on her sonnet and settled in with a notebook and a pencil. She stared blankly at her paper for an embarrassing length of time before writing a few words, shaking her head, and then erasing them, muttering to herself in irritation. 

“Oh, hell!” She looked up at Han’s voice, silently grateful for the distraction. There was smoke coming up from behind the counter and Rey’s interested was piqued. “The damn oven is on the fritz again.”

Rey popped up almost immediately. “I can look at it,” she called out and Han glanced at her and then waved her over. She happily packed her notebook away and carried her stuff over. “Got any tools?” Han wandered off and Rey realized that, in her eagerness to help and to get her mind off her sonnet, she’d placed herself hazardously close to Ren again. She tried to ignore him, but it was difficult to not be aware of how near to him she was. He was alternating his attention between the customer he was serving and Rey and she could feel each of his glances searing into her. 

Han came back a not long later, just as Ren had finished with the last person who needed to be helped and had turned to her. When he saw his father, he stopped in his tracks and watched. Han dropped the tools near Rey and the two of them worked in an amiable quiet. Rey felt comfortable with Han in a way that she’d never felt with any of the many foster fathers she’d had over the years and she wondered with gentle yearning how different her life might have been if she’d had a father figure like Han. Within minutes the two of them managed to find the issue and have it jerry-rigged.

“You’ll need to get a couple parts to fix it permanently,” Rey said with a satisfied grin. “It’ll work for a couple days.”

“If I had someone else here, I could go get the parts now,” Han said. “Maybe Chewie’d get them if I called him, but it’s his day off and anyway many people don’t often understand what he’s trying to say.” Han eyed her. “If I could just convince you to come work here, that’d solve a lot of problems.”

Rey could feel Ben’s eyes on her as she considered Han’s words. “There are a lot of students who could use a job around here, why are you so adamant about hiring me?”

Han shrugged. “It’s a family owned place.”

Rey laughed. “Han, I’m not family.”

He threw an arm around her shoulder in a friendly way. “Close enough.”

Warmth spread through Rey’s stomach and before she knew it, she was speaking. “Okay.”

Han looked at her in surprise and Rey could feel Ren’s eyes on her. “Okay?” He was asking for clarification.

“Yeah,” Rey said, her conviction growing. She thought of all the late nights and about the way her body ached enough that somedays she could barely stand. “If you really want me, I’ll work here.”

“I’ll get the paperwork started before you can change your mind,” Han replied, already walking away. Rey was alone behind the counter with Ren again and she felt his presence close behind her.

“For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision.”

She turned slowly to face him and saw that he was closer than she thought he would be. “We need to talk somewhere that’s not here.” He looked taken aback, but nodded curtly. When Rey tried to move away to give herself space, he moved forward, closing the gap between the two of them. He started to reach toward her when a voice made him freeze.

“Rey, come with me and we’ll work on getting you all set up.” Han was turning the corner and he checked to see how closely they were standing together. Rey didn’t risk looking at Ren then and instead followed Han to the office. The older man said nothing on the way, but Rey saw the way he glanced between her and Ren as she’d approached him and when Ren fell out of sight, he stared at Rey wordlessly. They made it to a small door and Han pulled it open, ushering Rey inside. The office was small and cluttered, but Rey liked the look of it immediately. It looked living in, like it wasn’t just some official room, but like it served a real purpose. There were pictures on the wall and Rey would have loved to take some time to study them more thoroughly, but Han gestured to the spare chair and told her to have a seat.

“So, I think it would be best if you told me what days and times you can help out around here so I can make up a schedule. Or you can just clock in whenever you have a spare few hours and we can work it that way. I know you have school and that is the top priority, and it should be, so I want to work with you as much as possible. Also, I’m not a miser, so this isn’t a minimum wage job. And if you’re here and we’re slow, please feel free to work on homework as well.”

Rey was overwhelmed by Han’s generosity and she didn’t want to cry, but she could feel her throat tighten. She cleared it once and then a second time before she could speak properly. “Thank you, Han.”

“I want to see you succeed, kid. You’re one of the good ones.”

They squared things away and signed the paperwork. She had her first official shift after she made up her lab class on Friday. She stayed for Han after he checked the clock and saw that he had enough time to run to the hardware store for the parts the oven needed. Ren was still behind the counter, working double to make drinks and food as well ring the few customers up. 

“Take the register,” he grunted at her. She did so and happily chatted with the girl in line as she tried to figure out what she wanted. Rey got her order squared away and grabbed the drinks Ren had next to him, reading out the names associated and leaving them in the pick-up area. The two of them worked well together, Rey realized. Their rhythms were much the same. Before long, the small rush dissipated and there were only a few scattered students lulling around. Rey leaned against the counter, watching Ren run a cloth over his work area, cleaning it efficiently. She wondered if the man ever wasted a move.

“You know, they have glasses that help with colorblindness now.” 

He didn’t look at her. “I’m also half blind, so unless they make them in prescription, I’m out of luck.”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “You’re not wearing your glasses now.”

He turned to her, sighing. “They get fogged up back here with all the hot machines and steam.” 

Ren’s hair was pulled back again and Rey found herself staring at his exposed forearms once more. The skin was absurdly pale, but freckles danced across his skin like constellations and she was fascinated by them. She looked up at his face and saw that he was staring at her in much the same way she was watching him. 

“Is your skin as soft as it looks?” His voice was back to being gruff. Rey was beginning to realize that his voice always went a little rougher when he spoke to her like that.

“Probably not. I used to work in a warehouse, after all.” Rey paused. “I still have to call Plutt and tell him I quit.”

Ren’s eyebrow raised. “That’s the big guy? I saw him when I picked you up that night.”

“When would you have seen him?” Rey was genuinely curious. 

Ren flushed. “I might have driven past your work a few times to catch you on your way home.”

Rey wasn’t surprised. The man tended to be exceptionally thorough. “Yeah, he’s the big guy.”

“He looks like the vengeful type. If you need help getting a last check from him, I’ll go with you.”

Rey looked him up and down thoughtfully. Ren was slender, but tall and broad shouldered and clearly muscled. “I can take care of any trouble he might try to cause.”

“What did you want to talk about earlier?”

“Not here,” Rey said, glancing around. “Later, after I’m done. Some place private, preferably.”

He nodded. “How’s the sonnet?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “I hate poetry.”

Ren looked aghast. “Poetry is beautiful.”

“I’m terrible at it.”

Ren frowned. “Everything about you looks like poetry, how could you be bad at it?”

“What do you mean by that?” Rey wasn’t sure she wanted the answer, but she’d always been an inquisitive person.

“The way your lips curve when you smile, your laughter, the self-assured way you walk into a room like a dancer who knows all eyes on her: it’s like a beautiful work of art. You’re the loveliest poem I’ve ever seen.”

Rey’s cheeks grew pink and she was about to reply when the bell above the door chimed out and Han entered, carrying a large bag, proclaiming that he’d found just what they needed. 

Rey stayed long enough to fix the oven and log her hours with Han. She was halfway to the school when she heard thumping of fast moving feet behind her. It was Ren, running to catch up with her.

“You needed to talk? Follow me to my car, let’s go for a ride.”

Rey did as he said, apprehension building within her as she did so. It was going to be a difficult conversation.


	7. Giving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I just want to warn you guys, I am absolutely awful at poetry and this chapter contains a terrible sonnet that I struggled through. I wish it was better, but that's never been my thing. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let's just call this the calm before the storm.**

Rey tried to be as inconspicuous as possible as she walked alongside Professor Ren. She worried what might happen if anyone in her class saw her with him. He kept up a quick pace and Rey wondered if he was thinking the same. When they reached his car, parked in the opposite direction she’d initially been going, she glances around, trying to see if there was anyone she recognized. Ren held the door open for her and she slid in, quickly. Her hands were clenched in her lap when Ren made it to the driver’s side and let himself in the car. 

“There’s a place not far from here that’s pretty private,” Ren told her. “If you don’t object to a few minutes’ drive, I can take us there.”

Rey nodded wordlessly and she tried desperately not to think about what happened the last time she was in the front seat of his car. He drove like a madman and Rey found herself pressing into the seat and checking her seatbelt more than once as he maneuvered recklessly through traffic.

“Can you slow down? It’s not a race.”

Ren glanced toward her and she felt the car decelerate slightly. “I’m just trying to get us somewhere private.”

The sun was starting to go down and Rey was watching the way it cast pink and yellow smudges on the horizon. They were going down a road she’d never been on before and she wondered, not for the first time, if being alone with him and far away from the relative safety of the school campus was a bad idea. The paved road ended and the ride became considerably bumpier before Ren turned the engine off and opened his door. Rey watched him walk around the front of the car and realized that he was going to come around and open her door. She beat him to it.

“There’s a spot just past these trees that will work pretty well.” 

Rey followed him, her stomach clenching with misgiving. Normally, she’d turn and run far away from this strange man and his stranger mood swings, but she found herself falling into step beside him. After a few minutes of walking through trees and overgrown grass and weeds, Rey found herself in a small clearing in front of a little pond. There were ducks swimming on the water and the setting sun cast a glow on the water that made Rey pause. The scene was soft and romantic and it made her feel even sorrier for what she was going to say. She turned to Ren and saw that he’d removed his coat and was smoothing it out on the ground. He beckoned for her to sit and she did so. He watched her, remaining standing.

“I come here sometimes when I need to be alone.”

“Sit down, Ren. It makes me uncomfortable to have you towering over me like this.”

He sat closer to her than she intended, but she let it be, soaking in the sun and the beautiful scenery in front of her. She could hear the bright bird calls and she smiled despite herself at the peaceful imagery. 

“I like it when you smile.”

Rey looked to Ren who was watching her with an intensity that was almost alarming. She sighed and pulled her knees to her chest.

“This has to stop, Ren.” She surveyed him. His face didn’t change, but he nodded.

“I know. It’s a dangerous game.”

“It’s not a game,” Rey’s voice was hot. “It’s my life. If we get caught, I’ll lose everything.”

“I won’t let that happen,” he told her, emphatically. 

“You couldn’t prevent it,” she told him, watching the way his eyes darkened further with her every word. He leaned toward her and though Rey knew she should pull away, she didn’t move an inch. “It would be beyond you. We’d both be ruined. You’d never teach again.”

“You put more stake in my desire to teach than you should. I never actively sought this out. The only good that’s come of it has been you.” Rey’s cheeks warmed. “Honestly, I can’t stand it. You’re the only person in that class who isn’t an idiot.”

“Why? Why me? There are so many other girls who would be interested in you that you could actually be with. Why are you acting like I’m the be all, end all?”

“There was another woman in my life years ago,” Ren’s face was hard and Rey realized he had to be talking about his college girlfriend. “I thought I loved her. We were together for a long time and it made sense to stay with her, even when most of the spark went away. That’s what it’s like, after all, you can’t have fireworks forever. You’d never get anything done.” He looked away from her then, focusing on the little pond. “I planned on proposing to her and having the type of life that everyone told me I should have. Then I found out the truth, that she’d never really loved me and that she was disloyal from almost the very start. It hurt, but I was also…relieved. I had been willing to accept that what we had was as good as it would get.” He looked back at Rey and his expression was unreadable. “In the time since then, however, I’ve been uninterested in people in general. Coincidentally, I’ve also been unable to write, until I met you.”

“So, am I your muse then? You want to struggle to keep me in your life for what my presence does for you?”

He shook his head. “I’ve spent years being angry and resentful and I still am, but when I think about you, it’s like the storm ebbs away and I can think clearly and focus.”

Rey felt her anger rising. “All I’m hearing is about what I do for you. If that’s all you want, you’re making this incredibly easy.” She rose and tried to stalk away, but he followed her, his coat forgotten. 

“Rey.” At her name, she paused, but refused to face him. She felt his presence behind her and she wondered what he was going to say when she felt his arms wrap around her and she was being pulled roughly back against him. He was pressing into her, eagerly and she felt just how rigidly muscled his body was. “I want you.”

Her resolve was crumbling as a hand trailed its way up her arm and to her chin. He tilted her face toward his and she saw he was staring at her like he was a man dying of heat and dehydration and she was a glass of ice water. She turned to him, almost unaware of the movement as if her body and mind were to separate, warring entities. 

“We shouldn’t…” Even to her own ears, the protest sounded feeble. 

“Say yes, Rey.”

His face was drawing closer to hers and she was wrapped in his embrace. Her eyes fluttered shut and she tilted her chin up. When his mouth was a few, mere inches from hers, she breathed out a gentle “Yes”. 

Ren’s lips pressed to hers and Rey focused all her attention to kissing him back. His hands were pressed against the small of her back as if he was desperate to get closer to her. When Rey nipped his bottom lip with her teeth, she heard the noise he made in the back of his throat and a hand made its way to the base of her skull. He was practically cradling her now and Rey felt nearly boneless. His pace was ruthless and he kissed her with a devastating thoroughness that left her feeling weak. When he pulled away, it was Rey who clung to him, pulling on the front of his shirt as if desperate to bring his mouth back to hers. He lifted her from the ground then, carrying her as easily as if she was a doll back to the clearing. He knelt on the ground, laying her on his coat before joining her, covering her body with his. He kissed her throat and Rey felt heat pooling in her stomach. She heard noises that sounded like short, soft gasping moans and realized that the sounds were coming from her. Ren’s large hands were gently stroking her as if he was afraid he could break her. She wanted more, but when she wrapped her legs around him, he paused. 

The whimper that escaped her mouth would have embarrassed her if he didn’t kiss her half senseless. She was rubbing herself against him, holding onto his shoulders for dear life when he pressed back. She could feel the full, aroused state of him and the heat from his body made her feel like she would burst into flame. He stopped suddenly, pulling away from her. She studied him, wondering why he’d ceased when she heard what made him pause. There were twigs snapping in the distance and voices sounding off. He pulled himself up and then tugged her up quickly before grabbing his coat from the ground. Wordlessly, his hand found hers and he half guided, half dragged her back through the thicket of trees and to his car.

This time, Rey didn’t object when he sped away, fear lighting in her. It was unlikely that the people in the small wooded area would recognize them, but the thought of it was as sobering as cold water. It was almost dark now and Rey was quietly staring out the window. She started when she felt Ren’s hand on her thigh. 

“I didn’t mean for things to get as heated as they did,” he told her, eyes never leaving the road. “But I don’t regret it.”

Rey thought about the way he’d felt, flush against her and how he’d managed to make her lose her senses with a few kissing. She found that she agreed with him. 

“This wasn’t my intention at all,” she whispered. “I was planning on telling you that we needed to stay as far away from each other as was possible.”

Ren’s wry half smile wasn’t missed. “I know.”

Rey glared at him. “I supposed you’re proud of yourself for interrupting my plan?”

Ren chuckled and despite herself, Rey was amused by the sound. “I’m not going to pretend that I’m not. I want you, but just say the word and this ends right now.”

Rey remained silent. She didn’t have to look at his face to know that his satisfaction was written plainly across it.

 

Ben dropped her off at the edge of campus, ignoring her protests to let her out nearly a mile away. Rey shouldered her bag that Ren handed her and walked to her car on unsteady feet and when she made it, she checked the mirror to see if she looked like she’d just been seduced by her teacher. She turned her head to the side and noted the faint pink spot on her neck where Ren had focused his attention before they’d had to rush away. She worried that Finn or Poe would see it and know that something was up. 

She was grateful, then, to whoever nearly stumbled upon them. If they hadn’t broken apart, the mark might be a lot darker and more noticeable. She decided that if either man pointed it out, she’d insist it had happened at Falcon. Maybe they’d believe that she’d gotten too close to the steamer. 

It might have worked, too, if Poe hadn’t noticed the twig in one of her buns. Her explanation was long and convoluted and she doubted either of them believed her. Finn’s gaze was sharp on hers and she retreated to her room, saying she needed time to study by herself. 

It wasn’t a complete lie. Rey started to shuffle through her bag, trying to find her book of Shakespearean sonnets so she could try to derive some inspiration. There was an unfamiliar folded piece of paper in her bag and Rey pulled it out, curious. Her name was written in elegant cursive and her curiosity was piqued. She unfolded it and scanned the words quickly. When she realized what they were, she reread it, taking her time. 

_For Rey, who makes me want to write again._

_My lover’s eyes are stormy as the sea_  
 _And I am cast upon the ocean’s wave_  
 _When I must rest her whispers call to me_  
 _My lover I will always run to save_  
 _I reach for her across the dark abyss_  
 _But she dances far from my yearning hand_  
 _I’m left alone, desirous for a kiss_  
 _My heart, my love dangles on her command_  
 _She turns from me, fearing the aftermath_  
 _Though I assure her that my love is true_  
 _There is a risk of scorn, hatred and wrath_  
 _So she will leave, easy for her to do_  
 _Still I crave a moment in her embrace_  
 _And fill my dreams with my lover’s sweet face._

Rey’s heart was thudding in her chest. She must have read the sonnet a dozen times before she refolded it and hid it in one of her textbooks from last quarter. Ren had written her a poem and kissed her until she felt like she couldn’t breathe and Rey was feeling herself attracted to more than just his looks. He was obviously trying his best to make Rey feel something more than just lust.

Rey bounced between the different class assignments she needed to complete, trying to put Ren out of her mind. She called it an early night around ten, remembering that she had to make up her lab early Friday morning. She tossed and turned in bed, trying not to think about Ren. She gave up, sat at her laptop and sent him an email, asking if he might be available by phone to discuss her assignment. If anyone read it, it would seem like she was an eager to please student, and she was, but not in the way most would deem acceptable. His response came just a few minutes later. It was stilted, formal and included his phone number. Rey stared at it for a moment before deciding that she’d come this far. She thought about texting him, but she wanted to hear his voice. He picked up on the first ring.

“Are you alright?” He sounded wide awake and Rey was relived she hadn’t woken him.

“Yes. I found your poem.”

There was a long pause before Ren spoke again. “When I wrote it, I thought that things were going to go differently between us.”

Rey’s mouth curved in a faint smile. “I liked it, but you made me sound like some powerful, ethereal creature.”

“You are,” was his only response. There was a beat or two and Rey wondered what to say next.

“I don’t know why I called,” Rey admitted. “I think I wanted to thank you for the poem? Mostly I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“I’m glad I didn’t get carried away and scare you off,” Ren replied. “Things got more…heated than I planned.”

“I didn’t mind,” Rey rushed to reassure him and she heard his low chuckle.

“I do,” he told her. “That’s not how I wanted things to go. I’m an adult, I have my own place. I’m far beyond taking a girl out into the woods like that.”

Rey tilted her head. “What do you want then?”

Ren’s response was quick. “I want to fuck you so thoroughly you won’t be able to hear the name ‘Shakespeare’ without remembering me.”

“I’m free now,” she told him.

“Not now,” he said. “I don’t want a few minutes with you. I want to take my time. Go to bed, Miss Kenobi. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She hesitated, blushing even though he couldn’t see her. Normally, when he called her by her surname, it was dry and often laced with exasperation, but now his voice was warm and full of desire and the sound of it sent a thrill down her spine. “Yes, sir,” she said. She hung up her phone and slid back into bed, trying her best to turn her mind off and focus on getting some sleep.


	8. Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This is my Saturday, so enjoy the longest chapter I've written for this fic yet. I plan on uploading another tomorrow evening, but hopefully this will keep you satiated until then.**

When Rey woke up the next morning, it was to another dull, throbbing headache. She hadn’t slept well the night before. Falling asleep had been difficult when she’d been so keyed up. Her lab was early and she was ready to get it done and make her way to Falcon. She decided to skip heading there before the class, feeling weird about the idea of Han or Chewie making her a drink now that she worked there. 

The lab was easy and she breezed through it, her professor exclaiming loudly and using her as an example for the class. She felt a familiar, comfortable happiness settle within her. She enjoyed these classes and she realized that it had been a while since she felt at ease. She hated the feeling of tenseness that seemed to stretch between her and Finn, but here it didn’t matter. She could focus on the task at hand and lose herself in it completely. She was sad when she finished her assignment early and stayed a little later than she needed to finishing up her lab report. She was able to turn it in to her professor before she left and set off for Falcon feeling content that she was in a good spot despite her illness. 

Falcon was busy and Rey saw that Han, Chewie and Ren were all behind the counter. Han motioned her over and told her that he’d train her on some of the food orders when it calmed down, but told her to take the register in the meantime. Rey was more than chipper when she chatted with customer after customer and the hum of the crowded store made her feel energized, a far cry from the way she’d felt when she’d pried herself out of bed. She turned a bright smile to the man waiting to order and offered him a happy “Good morning”.

The man grinned back at her. “When did you start working here, beautiful?”

Rey laughed, “Just yesterday.”

“Well, I’m going to have to come in here more often then, now that they have such a gorgeous girl here. Coffee and a pretty smile is hard to beat.”

Normally, the man’s over the top flirting would make Rey feel uncomfortable, but she was in a good mood, so she ignored it and asked him what he’d like. 

“I’ll take an iced coffee and a blueberry muffin,” he told her. He shot her a lopsided grin. “And your number, too.”

There was a crash and the sound of breaking glass behind her and Rey jumped slightly. When she turned around, she saw Ren looking down at a shattered coffee cup, his face like thunder. Han sighed heavily and handed his son the broom. When Rey saw that it was being taken care of, she turned back to the customer. 

“I’m sorry, so you wanted an iced coffee and a blueberry muffin?”

“Don’t forget your number,” the man reminded her and Rey tilted her head to the side. The man had to be in his mid to late thirties and wasn’t bothering to hide the gold band on his ring finger.

“What number would you like, sir? There’s an infinite amount to choose from.” Rey chose to deliberately misunderstand him, hoping he’d take the hint. She had no such luck.

“I’d like whatever series of numbers makes it easier for me to take you out for dinner tonight.”

Rey heard Ren’s quiet cursing behind her and she ignored it. “Sorry, can’t give those numbers out. Would you like any cream or sugar in your coffee?”

The man told her how he like his coffee, but persisted in trying to get Rey to agree to go out with him. Rey was trying her best to be polite in how she turned him down, but she was running out of options when a large hand rested on her shoulder. 

“This man bother you?” Chewie’s thick accent might have been hard for the man to understand, but his stature, broad chest, and frown didn’t need any translation. The man paid for his food and scurried off. 

“Whadda jerk,” said the girl who stepped up to the register next. “Some guys just can’t take a hint.”

Rey smiled at her. “Unfortunately, that’s true.”

The girl ordered her drink and when Rey asked her for her name, she sent her a cheeky grin.

“Jessika, with a K. Not that it really matters. I’m not gonna post a picture of my coffee.”

Rey liked her immediately. “Alright, Jessika with a K, I’ll call your name when your drink is ready.”

The girl hesitated for a moment. “You go to Niima, right?”

Rey smiled, nodded. “It’s my second year.”

“Cool, we should hang out sometime, I know a bar nearby that’s real lax about carding. We could have a lot of fun.”

Rey laughed. “Maybe. I’m kind of busy right now, but later? You can always find me either here or at school, so I’m around.”

The dark-haired girl grinned and nodded. “I’ll hold you to it!”

The rest if the customers weren’t quite as talkative as Jessika and the man who’d mildly harassed Rey and the first hour and a half of her shift flew by. Before she knew it, Han was taking her through the foods, teaching her what she needed for each of the sandwiches. 

“There’s a booklet somewhere,” he told her, glancing around for it. “I think Ben had it last. Ben!” He called out to his son, who looked up, his expression guarded. “Can you take Rey to the dry storage and give her a rundown of things in there and the find that booklet with all the ingredients she needs to know and go over it with her?”

Rey could see his reluctance and wondered at it. He pulled himself away from talking quietly with Chewie and motioned for her to follow him. Rey had to half jog to catch him before he rounded a corner. When they were out of sight from the front, Rey stopped where she was. 

“Would you stop running away from me?”

Ren turned on his heel and Rey saw the stark seriousness in his face. She was taken aback by it and she almost took a step back before she realized what she was doing. Instead, she put her hands to her hips and stood her ground as Ren advanced on her.

“Oh, have you noticed me again?”

Rey stared, then narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“Am I the focus of your intention now that there’s no one else to occupy your time?”

Rey’s irritation sparked. “Are you talking about the asshole from earlier who kept trying to get me to give him my number? Are you serious right now?”

Ren faltered for a moment before his eyes hardened again. “If I’d have known your type was married men, I would have worn a ring.” He turned his back on her, and Rey’s angry gasp was loud enough that she was sure that anyone could have heard her. When Ren started to walk away from her, she stomped after him. After he made it clear he wasn’t going to stop or turn to face her again, she followed him into the storage room, shut the door firmly behind her and grabbed two handfuls of his button-down shirt, yanking on him. He seemed to freeze, midstride. 

“Of all the arrogant, clueless things to say!” Rey was sputtering in her anger, she hadn’t let go of his shirt and she felt peculiar tugging on it as she tried to hold it still. Suddenly, she was pulling off the shirt he’d obviously unbuttoned and he was turning on her in just his tight undershirt. She held onto the fabric for a moment before she threw it at him. “How dare you act like I enjoyed that for a second.”

“You never stopped smiling,” he said it with a near snarl. “It didn’t look to me like it upset you.”

“This is customer service!” She threw her hands up. “I’m not you, I don’t get away with scowling and brooding like some trope in a Victorian Romance novel. I was being friendly because it’s my job.”

He was advancing on her again, but Rey stood her ground until he was almost on top of her. She took a half step back, but Ren pulled her up against him. She flattened her hands on his chest, trying to ignore the rapid beat of her heart as she pushed back against him. He was lifting her easily and an instant later, her back was against the door she’d closed without thinking and his mouth was on hers again, hot and possessive. She nipped his bottom lip, harder than she might normally and was treated to a growl from the back of his throat. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he held her against the door and kissed her harder than he had before. It was aggressive, but Rey was giving as good as she was getting. Ren ended the kiss, breathing heavily as he stared at her. 

“Don’t you ever talk to me that way again,” Rey’s voice was tight and Ren finally looked contrite. 

“I’m sor—”

She cut him off. “It’s fine, you’re just an asshole.”

He eased her back down the wall slightly until she could unwrap her legs from him and stand. He shot her a wry look. “I’m still your teacher, you know.”

“Doesn’t stop you from being an asshole,” Rey replied. She saw Ren consider that for a moment and shrug. “Besides,” she said, “do you really want to get into _that_ right now, sir?”

His eyes flashed for a moment. “Probably not.” He glanced around. “This is the dry storage. All the non-perishable things are stored in here. As you can probably guess, that means there’s a lot of coffee. The refrigerator is right next to us. Don’t worry, you won’t ever have to do ordering. Han leaves that up to me or my mother whenever either of us is in town.”

Rey bit her lip against the urge to ask him why he referred to his father by his first name and chalked it up to daddy issues that she didn’t want to deal with at this point.

“I left the book full of food prep instructions at my place, so unless you’d like to accompany me there…”

Rey didn’t have to look at him to know his expression, but she did nonetheless. He looked smug and a touch hopeful. “No chance.”

“What about tonight?”

Rey’s eyebrow arched. “What about it?”

“Come out with me. We can drive far enough away from campus that no one will recognize us. I’ll take you out to dinner.”

Rey shook her head. “That sounds like a date.”

Ren tilted his head, looking at her as if she’d suddenly switched to speaking a different language. “It was supposed to be a date.”

Rey blinked. “Why?”

“Because,” Ren said slowly, and Rey narrowed her eyes again at the slightly patronizing tone of his voice. “That’s what people do. When they find someone they like, they go on dates.”

Rey crossed her arms. “We can’t. It’s way too risky.”

“So, the impression I get is you’ll sleep with me, but you don’t want to get to know me.” Ren sounded exasperated again.

“Yes,” Rey said. “That’s exactly what’s happening.”

Ren was quiet for a moment. “Why?”

“Because what if I get to know you and you aren’t the pretentious asshole I think you are?”

He snorted. “No, I am that.”

“Exactly, let’s just keep it that way. If we get feelings involved,” Rey shrugged. “It’ll get messier than it already is.”

But the way Ren was staring at her made Rey wonder if, for him at least, it was already messy.

As they left the storage area, Ren told her to fix her hair and Rey raised a hand to it, realizing that at some point, he’d managed to half of it down from the tight ponytail she had it in. He strode away while she tugged at her hair until she was convinced it was back into some semblance of order. She took another minute to collect herself before making her way to the front again. Ren was obviously explaining to Han that he’d taken the training book home and had forgotten to bring it back. Han looked annoyed, but rolled his eyes and walked away to help the new customer. 

Rey tried to make herself busy stocking the pastry display case and Chewie set a nearly cooled rack of chocolate chip cookies near her. She smiled at him, and he patted her on the shoulder reassuringly before telling her she had to test one of the cookies to make sure they were good. Rey laughed, and took one, savoring the flavor. If she’d had to guess, who wouldn’t have thought that the delicious baked goods that Falcon was bursting with all made by Chewie. The large man had a soft spot for sweets and a flair for making even the smallest cupcakes look delicately beautiful and Rey often wondered how he made such intricate designs considering how large his hands were. 

The rest of her shift passed peacefully and Rey happily helped Han and Chewie close up at around 8 pm. Ren was in the dish pit, cleaning the various cups and utensils used throughout the day while Rey focused on straighten up the front of the coffee house, Han counted the register and Chewie cleaned the baker’s area. It was comfortable, Rey thought. They didn’t need to fill the air with mindless chatter and she appreciated the silence after a long day of chatting with customers. Having to fill the hours with mindless small talk wasn’t difficult, but by then end of the day, Rey’s throat was a little sore. The only thing that her warehouse job had one this one was the fact that she could listen to music and be quiet.

Rey stilled in the middle of straightening some chairs, realizing that in the rush and craziness of the last few hours, she’d completely forgotten to let Unkar know that she wasn’t going to be coming in anymore. Reluctantly, she checked the phone she’d silenced and slipped in her back pocket, noting that there were five missed calls from the man and 2 voicemails. Rey listened to them and was, frankly, taken aback by the level of vitriol the man was spewing. She was one of the longest lasting employees and during the year she’d worked for him, very few of the other workers bothered to let him know they weren’t coming in anymore. In fact, her first day there, he’d told her that two week’s notice wasn’t required for this job. She wondered if he’d left angry messages for any of the countless men who’d simply stopped showing up or if that treatment was saved especially for her. 

“What’s going on, Rey?” Han’s voice was casual when he noticed she was frowning at her phone, scrolling through the more than twenty text messages she had. 

“My old boss has been trying to get ahold of me. I might have forgotten to mention that I have new job.” Rey’s voice was sheepish. “He’s pretty angry.”

Han walked over to her and looked down at her phone, his eyebrows raised. “How can you tell?”

Ren rounded the corner, drying his hands as she responded, “Half a dozen missed calls, two voicemails and almost thirty text messages just screams ‘I am angry with you’. And this one literally calls me an ‘ungrateful skinny bitch’, so I’d say he’s pretty much furious.”

“That’s exceptionally inappropriate,” Ren said firmly. Rey’s eyes met his and she waited for him to acknowledge her before she rolled his eyes. She doubted the irony of his statement was lost on either of them. 

“It’s not that big of a deal. I’ve been called worse.”

Han shook his head. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, you did good today kid.”

Rey beamed at him, happy to hear the praise. “Thanks, it does make me feel better.”

“If I didn’t have a date with my wife tonight, I’d offer to grab some pizza to celebrate a successful first day. But,” and Han grinned widely now, “she’s been waiting for me and I’m in trouble if I don’t get home soon. You and Ben should grab something to eat together, though.”

Rey was trying to come up with an excuse when Ren smiled at her wickedly. “That’s a great idea. I know just the place.”

 

Rey was once again seated awkwardly in Ren’s car as he drove them away from the crowd of Niima University on a Friday night. She wondered how she kept letting herself get talked into sliding into that front seat. Ren was looking triumphant as a maneuvered through pedestrians who’d taken to walking in the middle of the street, already inebriated at 8:30 pm. 

“So, you can just take me to my car if you want.”

“I can do that if you want,” he told her. “Or I can take you home with me.”

Rey was still irritated with him because of his temper tantrum from earlier and she took a few seconds to consider the options. 

“You really know how to deflate a man’s ego.”

She laughed. “I am hungry though,” she hedged. She was about to add that she should go home when he nodded.

“There’s a Chinese food place near my townhouse that delivers. It’s good. I could order some food for us and we could watch a movie. Neither of us had to be at Falcon until around 10 tomorrow morning, that gives us plenty of time to take things slow tonight.”

Ren’s right hand which had previously been resting on the back of her headrest had come down gently on her knee. As he spoke, the fingers danced lightly up her thigh and Rey was holding her breath, wondering what he was going to do. Her jeans were old, comfortably loose on her and she was convinced it wouldn’t prove too difficult for him to undo the button and zipper and slip his dexterous hand down the front of them. She wondered why he hadn’t done just that when she realized that he was waiting for a response from her before he moved his hand any further. She didn’t say a word, but moved his hand until he was cupping her through her jeans.

“Should I take that as a yes?” His voice was husky and Rey was fascinated by the way he was able to stay focused on driving while still moving his fingers against her in a way that made her toss her head back.

Her yes was a half cry, half whimper and when he heard it, he didn’t hesitate any longer. With an ease that should have warned her of his experience, he deftly unbuttoned her jeans with one hand, pulling her zipper down and sliding his fingertips across the front of her already damp panties. Rey thought, for an instant, that she might have tried to wear something nicer had she realized this was going to happen today, but Ren hooked a finger around the elastic material, pulling it to the side and her mind emptied of any insecurities. He found her clitoris quickly and Rey had to bite her lip when he gently traced it, his touch soft and teasing. 

“You are so wet already,” he told her, his voice deep and throaty and Rey wordlessly nodded, not trusting her own voice as he stroked and teased her. She couldn’t tell how far they had driven, but sooner than she would have liked, he was turning off the street into a gated driveway. He took his hand off the wheel to hit the clicker attached to his car’s visor and the gate slowly rumbled open. When they crossed the threshold, he reluctantly withdrew his hand from her and Rey shakily did her jeans back up. His fingers with glistening and she watched him raise them to his mouth.

“I think I can wait on the dinner and the movie,” she informed him and he pulled into his parking spot. His smug grin still made her roll her eyes, but his arrogance didn’t make her want to laugh at him. She was sure that would change later, but for now it was hard to laugh when he was looking at her like he was going to devour her.

He half led, half dragged her from his car to his apartment. Rey glanced around, noticing that the apartments were significantly nicer than hers. When they made it to his door, he fumbled with the keys for a minute before he got the right one in the door. Before they entered, he paused and looked at her.

“I’m not really one for decorating.”

That was an understatement, Rey realized, when he ushered her in to his almost bare apartment. There was furniture, and it all looked nice and much more expensive than anything she had at her place, but there wasn’t anything that would distinguish it from any other place. The walls were bare and the hardwood lacked even a rug to soften its appearance. The only personal touch she could see was the deep blue blanket on the couch and it looked woefully out of place. 

Ren’s place didn’t even have the benefit of cozy, lived in clutter. If Rey didn’t know any better, she’d had thought the apartment was lacking a tenant. As she kicked of her shoes, following Ren’s example, she tried to find a single indication that someone lived there. Her face must have betrayed her surprised because Ren had stopped looking like he was going to eat her alive and was back to looking sheepish.

“It’s hard to decorate when you don’t know if the things you’re bringing home match or complement each other. Just because I wouldn’t be able to tell that the apartment is a tacky riot of strange colors doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be offensive to anyone else’s eyes. My mother offered to pick some stuff up for me, but I declined. I’d rather not be the grown man whose mommy decorated his apartment because he’s clueless.”

“It’s fine,” Rey assured him. “Everything I have in my room is second hand and scrounged from consignment stores and yard sales.” She could practically feel his discomfort and it wasn’t exceptionally reassuring. 

Ren was fidgeting awkwardly. “Want the tour?” he asked, sweeping his arm around.

Rey nodded. “Sure.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her firmly against him. She could feel him starting to relax a little more now and she felt some of the tension in her slip away as well. He led her through the living room, past the alcove that held a small table and a few chairs, and into the decent sized kitchen. 

“This room is embarrassingly rarely used,” he confided. “I’m dreadful at cooking. I’ve managed to burn those packaged of ramen that are supposed to be fool proof.”

He walked her back into the living room and took her to the stairs by the entryway. “It was hard to find a two story apartment that wasn’t too far from the school, but I prefer having a second story. It gives me more room to move around in.”

He showed her into the second bedroom which he turned into his workspace, the only room in the place so far that looked like a person used it from time to time. There was a stack of papers on his desk which Rey assumed were essays and bookcases lined the walls and were filled to the brim. It was mildly chaotic, but in an appealing way. 

His bedroom was as orderly as the rest of the house. Rey was quickly learning that he wasn’t the type of man who left things comfortably strewn about. His bed took up most of the room and was so large that Rey wondered if he’d custom ordered it. Now that she was here, she was feeling her nerves start to ratchet up again. 

“We can always start with dinner and watching a movie,” he reminded her. He must have been able to sense her apprehension. She shook her head, turning to face him, smoothing her hands across his front and up to his shoulders. The gentle pressure she put there was enough to get him to bend down and press his mouth to hers again. He’d taken his hair down earlier and Rey wound her fingers into it, tugging on a few locks gently. He pressed into her more firmly and Rey tugged a little hard and found herself being walked backwards until her back pressed against the side of the bed. Ren’s hands were gliding over her and she felt one slip under her t-shirt and caress the skin of her navel. She broke the kiss, unable to stifle the giggle that tickling stroke had caused her. Ren looked triumphantly wicked. 

“Are you ticklish?”

“No,” Rey lied, tugging her shirt down and wrapping her arms around her middle.

He leaned over her, a mischievous glint in his eye. “If you aren’t ticklish, you won’t mind if I do this then.” His fingers ran up her sides and Rey tried and failed to mask her laughter. “I think it’s time I find where else you’re ticklish.”

Ren had her up and on his bed faster than Rey would have thought possible. She scrambled backwards until she was further away from him and neatly reclining on his pillows. His eyes were hot as he watched her while he meticulously unbuttoned his shirt. Rey’s mouth felt dry and she wondered how he managed to make the removing of a button-down shirt one seem like sin. He cast the black material to the floor and his undershirt followed leaving Rey to survey the pale, freckled skin of his chest and abdomen. He was muscular, more so than any teacher should have been. She must have voiced that thought aloud because he smirked at her.

“I don’t just go to the gym to hope I can defend you from some boy who doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘no’.” 

He joined her on the bed then and Rey felt a little hunted when he hovered over her. He pressed his lips to a spot on her neck that sent shivers down her spine and she didn’t notice his traveling hands until she felt them skitter across her abdomen. She jumped slightly and was torn between the delectable feeling of him nipping gently at her neck and his prodding, ticking fingers. 

“Definitely there,” he breathed into her ear. He was tugging her shirt up and Rey pulled it the rest of the way off. It was casually discarded and Ren’s warm mouth traced a path down her neck to the tops of her breasts and then between them, leaving a trail of kissed that made her shudder. When he got to her ribs, he alternated between kissing and sucking the skin there and Rey was torn between laughing and moaning at the sensation. His hands were fiddling with the button on her jeans and when he undid the button and unzipped her pants, she lifted her hips to help him ease the denim off her. His mouth was still doing delightful things to her abdomen, but it was slowly making her way down and Rey felt a thrumming of desire between her legs. When he slid a finger into the waistband of her panties and tugged at them, Rey felt like every inch of her was throbbing in anticipation. They joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor and Rey couldn’t stop the keening sob from escaping her when his mouth pressed against her. 

He slid a solitary finger up her slit as his tongue circled her clit in a leisurely manner. He occasionally flicked the tip of his tongue against the bundle of nerves and when he slowly eased a finger inside her, Rey gripped his hair and closed her eyes, throwing her head back with a small cry. She was reaching a peak and Ren continued his gentle assault on her until shivers wracked her body and she came with a moan that she was certain the entire apartment complex could hear. When she finally came back down from the waves of pleasure, she saw that Ren was watching her, mouth still pressed against her. She tugged at his hair and he followed her unspoken command. She kissed him, could taste herself on his lips and reached toward the dark jeans he was still wearing. His hands made it there first and he pulled them off, leaving the dark boxer briefs in place. He leaned back over her, placing gentle, drugging kisses on her collarbone. 

“Tell me that you want this,” his voice was ragged. “I need to hear it.”

“I want this, Ren. I want you.” 

He paused, taking a moment to stare deeply into her eyes and caress her face gently before he took a deep breath. Rey watched him tugging at his underwear and his cock sprung free. Her eyes widened for a moment and she glanced up at him.

“I haven’t done this in a while,” her voice was a whisper and his smile was soft. 

“I planned on going slow anyway.”

Ren was kissing her again, slowly. He was taking not rushing very seriously and Rey was burning for him after a few more minutes of deep, hot kisses. She was tired of waiting and placed her hands on his shoulders. He broke away quickly, concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I want to be on top.”

He hesitated, “Let me grab a condom.”

“Birth control,” Rey said simply. “We’re good.” She guided him down into the bed and his eyes seemed to roam over every inch of her, as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to look. She palmed him and he closed his eyes, resting his head on the pillow and letting out a whoosh of air. 

She was deliberate in her movements, not wanting to get ahead of herself. She eased herself down on his erection and the sensation was indescribable. It seemed to take forever for her to take all of him in, but when she finally did, she paused and Ren’s hands clung to her hips. She rode him slowly, her pace increasing when he thrust up to meet her. It wasn’t long before she felt her body climbing towards another orgasm and when it happened she shudder and cried out Ren’s name. She felt limp and satiated and eagerly followed Ren’s gentle instruction to lay on her side. He pulled her close to him and entered her from behind, his pace growing less even and measured with every stroke. Rey knew he was close to his own end and she enjoyed the way he seemed to lose control of his calm. He was holding her tightly to him and driving into her deeply and he came with a shout. 

When he pressed gentle kisses to her spine, Rey realized the gravity of what they’d just done. Whether or not her feelings got tangled up in him, this was going to get messy.


	9. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and thank you for your reviews. Every time I read one, it makes me smile. Your feedback is truly appreciated. It keeps me going when I have rough days like today. I'm sorry if the chapter seems a bit rushed. Today was a hectic day and I had little time to write. Yet again, it's pretty late where I am, so I apologize if I've made any errors.**

Ren was a cuddler. That fact moderately unnerved Rey as she tried to edge away from him. She was suddenly feeling trapped and desperately wanted out. Ren either didn’t seem to notice her subtle movements or was trying to ignore it. He held onto her firmly and she was started to feel edgy. What she needed more than anything was space and time away from him, but he didn’t seem inclined to give that to her because he was gently kissing her shoulder. She wondered if he could feel how rigid her body had gone, but when she felt the warm breath of his sigh on her neck she knew the answer.

“What’s wrong, Rey?”

She didn’t turn to look at him, choosing to stare straight ahead. “I want to go home now.” The arms around her grew taut and she felt him shifting, looking down at her and trying to discern her sudden change of heart. 

“What happened? I thought everything was okay. Did I do something wrong?” He still hadn’t let go of her, had tightened his grip as if desperately holding onto her when all Rey wanted to do was get away.

“Just take me back to my car now.”

Ren let go of her and Rey slipped away from him quickly, struggling to locate all her clothing. She knew he was watching her. 

“Tell me what I did wrong. Let me fix it.”

Rey’s back went rigid. “There’s no fixing it,” she replied, slowly turning to face him. His face looked open, pleading and Rey realized that even during sex he’d been more guarded than he was now. “You’re my teacher, this shouldn’t have happened. It was an itch that we scratched and now I need to go home and pretend it never happened.”

A red flush was creeping across his cheeks and his eyes were darker than she’d ever seen them. “That’s not what it was for me.”

Rey was still naked, her clothes mostly gathered in her hands and she stared him down, not believing him for a second. “Do you really expect me to believe that you care about me? You don’t know anything about who I am. Stop pretending this is something more than what it was; you already got what you wanted.”

Ren was out of the bed in a flash and much closer to Rey than she would have liked. “You’re right, I wanted you. I wanted this from almost the moment I saw you, but that’s not all I want.”

Rey laughed and it sounded harsh even to her own ears. “What do you want, Ren? To date me? You’re my teacher, that’s not happening. That can never happen. This shouldn’t have happened either.”

“Why not?”

The question was so absurd that Rey actually choked on her irritation. She shook her head at him in amazement. “Why does it even matter? It’s not happening. Take me to my car.”

“No, Rey just talk to me. You have to tell me why you’re suddenly acting this way. Let me fix whatever it is I messed up.”

“Are you refusing to take me back to campus?” Rey was struggling into her clothes now and her heart was racing. She shouldn’t have come here. It had been an egregious mistake. 

“Just talk to me!” He grabbed onto her shoulders, trying to force her to stay still. 

“Let go of me.”

“Rey—”

She pulled away from him, twisting herself from his grasp with a half sob. “Don’t touch me.” Her heart was racing and she wanted out of his apartment and far away from him, but she felt like she couldn’t move. Her breathing was coming fast and hard and she felt lightheaded. 

“Rey,” his voice sounded far away. It echoed in her ears. “I think you might be having a panic attack.”

Her body was shaking and she swayed. Tears were coming hard and fast down her cheeks and her breaths were now coming in ragged gasps. She could hear the beating of her heart echoing in her ears and without realizing what she was doing, she sank to the cold wood floor, half dressed and feeling like she was dying. He was at her side immediately, lifting her head off the ground and onto a pillow from his bed, then she was being covered with a blanket and his hand was smoothing her hair off her face. 

“Breathe. It’s going to be alright.”

She wanted to yell that it wasn’t going to be alright, that she’d made a huge, irreparable mistake and ruined everything, but she could hardly get enough breath to fight off the fogginess edging in around her. He reached for her hand, placed it onto his chest.

“Try to focus on matching your breathing with mine.”

The words floated to her slowly and she felt the rise and fall of his chest, focused on it. It was even and measured and she tried to match it, taking in breath too quickly, trying to hold it too long, gasping it out in rasps. They stayed like that for several minutes until Rey was almost pacing his breaths. She didn’t see gray in the edges of her vision anymore, but her mind was still reeling with the implications of her actions.

“I’ll be expelled,” she said finally. “I’m going to lose my chance. I don’t have parents to go home to.”

He looked at her strangely. “What do you mean?”

“Orphan,” she said shortly. “I thought maybe your mom had mentioned it to you after our lunch together.”

“I didn’t ask. It didn’t seem appropriate you go behind your back that way. If there’s anything you want me to know, I trusted you’d bring it up.”

“You really don’t know anything about me,” she said. Her voice was a faint whisper now and she was starting to feel more, for lack of a better word, normal. 

“Tell me.”

 

He’d helped her get dressed, brought her downstairs and wrapped her in his throw blanket on the couch while he made tea. “One of the few things this kitchen gets used for.” She heard him on the phone ordering an obscene amount of food while she stared listlessly at a wall. She’d never had a panic attack before, but she supposed that a new semester, a new job, and a new…whatever this was had been enough stress to trigger one. When Ren walked back into the room, it was with two china blue cups, one which he pressed into Rey’s hand. She took an experimental drink. It was hot, something herbal and soothing with more honey than it realistically needed. 

“How do you take your coffee black, but your tea laden with honey this way?”

His smile was small, amused. “Mine is plain. You’re the one who likes her coffee loaded with cream and sugar. I thought you might want some honey.”

“If you don’t use it,” Rey asked, “Why do you even have it?”

He stared at her, his expression betraying very little. “Because you like your coffee sweet. It was a logical step to get honey to make your tea sweet.”

She looked down at her cup, trying to not let the fact that he’d specifically purchased honey on the off chance she’d end up here warm her. 

“I like my coffee sweet, but my tea plain,” she said, taking a sip. “My favorite color is green and I don’t know how to swim.”

“You don’t know how to swim?” He was incredulous. 

“No one taught me,” she responded. “My grandfather was an older man when I was born. My mother dropped me off on him and vanished. When he died, they couldn’t find her so they presumed she also died. Some cousin of hers offered to take me in, that’s how I ended up here. She wasn’t able to have children and brought me into the house in an attempt to save her failing marriage. When it didn’t work, she put me in the system and I bounced around a lot.”

Ren watched her talk, his eyes never wavering from hers. She’d told Leia the barebones of this story, but not any details. She wanted to give Ren details. Maybe after enough of them, he’d realize he didn’t want to be involved with her in any way and they could pretend this never happened.

“Foster care isn’t the best environment. There’s a lot of kids crammed into not enough space. You have to be tough to survive it. The place I stayed in for the longest was basically trying to make money out of taking kids in and they didn’t care about how well we lived. I was there from thirteen until I turned eighteen. There were seven of us crammed into two bedrooms. Foster mom was a raging alcoholic. Foster dad had roaming hands you always had to be on the lookout for. Unsurprisingly, they only took in teenage girls.”

Ren flinched at the implication, but otherwise showed no reaction to the words.

“I had to start working the second I was old enough. They took most of the money I made working at a Starbucks, so I started learning how to build and fix things to earn cash on the side.” She held the back of her hand up so he could see the silvery scars on her knuckles. “I got hurt a lot. I was still in high school when I aged out of the system and was unceremoniously tossed out on my ass. A neighbor who’d let me come over occasionally and snuck me food when I wasn’t being fed properly let me stay on her couch until I graduated high school. Her name was Maz and I still get Christmas card from her and she was the only good part of my time there.”

At some point during her speech, Ren had reached out to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, Rey.”

“For what?”

“For what you went through.”

“I’d have given anything for a family like yours,” Rey said. “And you treat your dad with open hostility.”

Ren shrugged. “He was out of my life from nine until I was seventeen. He abandoned my mother and me. Just because she forgives him doesn’t mean I do.”

Before Rey could respond to that statement, the doorbell rang and Ren leaned close, pressed a quick kiss to her temple, and rose to answer it. Her skin burned where his lips touched her. She watched him hand bring in bags that were overloaded with food.

“I didn’t know what you’d like, so I got a lot of stuff.”

Rey was mildly amused. “See, you don’t know anything about me.”

He looked up from the bag he was holding. “I’d like to learn.”

She shook her head at him, but he nodded back at her, stubborn as ever.

“The problem of you being my teacher hasn’t changed. There’s a lot at risk for me with this.”

“If anything happens, I will take full blame and recuse myself. I’m not even a real teacher, I don’t have an office and I’m not being paid. It’s something I’ve done to pass the time and help out my uncle.”

Rey just stared at him. “If you aren’t being paid, how can you afford to live?”

Ren snorted. “A large inheritance from a grandfather who spitefully left all of his money to me because he knew it would annoy my mother. I don’t have to have a paid job if I don’t want one. It works out well for my family because they know I’m a reliable source for unpaid help, so I help my mother from time to time with some aspects of her charity work, my uncle with grading papers and a dozen other little things it takes to teach as many classes as he does, and most recently, my father with Falcon. Although, that has admittedly been completely and utterly an attempt to spend more time around you. I’d drop out of this teacher role in a heartbeat if it made things easier, but I’m fairly certain that would end the class.”

“I need this class if I want to get my degree next June. I can’t deviate from my plan if I want to graduate in three years.”

He studied her. “So, I stay your teacher then?”

She nodded. 

“Where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I probably shouldn’t have come here tonight.”

“I’m glad you did,” he added quickly, and she laughed. “Maybe we should have the big, ‘What do we do now?’ question after we eat.”

Rey ate more than she should have, but Ren hadn’t been lying when he said that the food was good. 

“Why don’t you go by ‘Solo’?” Rey asked.

“I’d prefer it to not be associated by name with a man that left his family behind for years while he went off gallivanting.”

“So why not Skywalker then?”

“My mother’s last name is Organa,” he told her. “My family is complicated as hell. It just seemed easier to come up with something new altogether.”

“Is that why you don’t like it when your father calls you Ben?”

He shrugged. “I don’t care when my mother calls me Ben. I prefer Kylo though.”

Rey’s laughter was loud and spontaneous. “I’m sorry, what kind of stupid name is that?”

He glowered at her, spearing his chopsticks into the takeout container full of noodles. “My father’s name is Han, my grandfather’s name was Anakin and my grandmother’s name was Padme. What kind of stupid name is Ben?”

“My grandfather’s name was Obi Wan.” 

He stared at her and she could tell he was struggling to hold back laughter. “Kylo shouldn’t be that hard for you then.”

He tried to convince her to stay the night, but she reminded him what a foolish idea that was. Before he took her to his car, he kissed her until she could barely breathe. He then insisted that she wear one of his coats. 

“It’s not cold out!” She protested. “And you’re over half a foot taller than me, I’d look like an idiot.”

“Fine,” he said shortly. “You’re so stubborn.”

She had to keep nudging his hand down her thigh on the ride back. She knew by the smirk on his face that it wasn’t coincidental. This time, Rey paid more attention to where they were. She hadn’t even realized they’d gotten onto a freeway. It took them around thirty minutes from the time they got into the car to get to her car and Rey realized that the fact that he’d been on her street in the middle of the night was no accident. When she stated that aloud he remained uncharacteristically silent. They were parked near her car and Rey turned to look at him. 

“Why were you on my street?”

“Coincidence.”

“Liar.”

When he leaned toward her, trying for a kiss, Rey shook her head, looking around. “Not here. Never here.”

She slipped out of his car after promising to text him when she made it home safely, making as little noise as she could and got into her own. Ren was obviously watching to make sure everything was alright and when her car turned over and she flipped on her headlights, he drove away. She was trying to sort through everything that happened on the drive to her apartment and she still wasn’t sure if she was satisfied with everything, but the sex had been phenomenal and he comforted her through a panic attack, made her tea, fed her huge amounts of Chinese food, and offered to take all the blame if they were caught together, so that was a start. 

She tried to sneak into her apartment, but when she opened the front door, Poe was sitting on the couch waiting for her. 

“Good, you made it back before Finn got home from work. I covered for you tonight, but I doubt I’ll be able to every night.”

“Poe, what are you talking about?”

“Rey, Finn tells me things. I know about your thing with the teacher. I’m not going to judge you, but Finn will.”

Rey colored. “You’re not going to warn me?”

He grinned. “You’re a smart girl, you know what’s up. Finn’s trying to protect you because he’s a sweetheart and wants to keep everyone safe, but you’re a grown woman. Oh, and if Finn asks, the reason your phone was off when he called you on his break was because it died and you didn’t realize it. Also, your charging cord was broken and so you and I went to three different closed stores before we found an open one that had your charger. Text him back and then tell me about what happened between you and your ‘way too tall and old for her’ teacher.”

Rey was reminded once again what a good friend Poe was. “Can I tell you later? I’m tired and I desperately need some sleep.”

Poe’s laughter was loud. “That’s pretty telling in and of itself. Text Finn, love, and sleep well.”

Rey did as he said and shot off a text to Ren as well. Just as she was slipped into sleep, her phone buzzed. She glanced at it and saw the message from Ren.

“Wish you’d stayed.”

When she thought about how comfortable his bed was and how much quieter his apartment had been, she almost agreed with him.


	10. Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ren royally fucks up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I have been stricken with the most ridiculous writer's block that I just had to force myself to push through. I know this chapter is not as long as they usually are, but I'm trying to force my way through my rut and I wanted to get some content up for you guys today. Thank you for your lovely reviews. I'm going to do my best to get two more chapters up this week, but I can't promise anything.**

Rey spent most of her night tossing and turning. Sleep was a long time coming and when it finally did claim her, it was fraught with dreams of Ren and of being expelled. When her phone’s alarm chimed that Saturday morning, she was exhausted. She tried not to think about the fact that she’d left behind a job that had worked her to the brink of collapse, only to find herself unable to sleep now for entirely different reasons. There was a writhing in the pit of her stomach whenever she thought about the night before and she wasn’t sure if it was due to nervousness or excitement.

She could still smell Ren on her skin and she tried to ignore it, choosing to scrub her skin in a brief but thorough before work shower. She was pointedly ignoring the two messages on her phone from him, but as she dressed, she heard her phone buzz once more and when she glanced down, Ren’s number, which she had chosen not to save to a contact, was displayed. Rey reached for the phone tentatively before turning her back on it and bending over to rub the towel against her hair roughly, feeling the painful tug on her scalp as she brusquely dried her hair. When she decided that was good enough, she dressed, pulled her hair up into a screamingly tight ponytail and checked the time on her phone.

If she left now, she’d be more than five minutes early for her shift. Normally, that wouldn’t have bothered her, but she knew that being there before she had to be in work mode would give Ren a few minutes to pull her aside and talk to her and she still wasn’t sure she was ready for whatever was coming next. So she dawdled toying with her phone, still ignoring the message from Ren while she waited for the minutes to tick past. When she was confident she’d make it to work with only a minute or two to spare, she left.

There was a line of people at the coffeehouse and Rey felt bad for delaying her arrival. She jumped right in, taking the register next to Leia who greeted her with a smile and a gentle squeeze of her hand on Rey’s. Ren was a constant presence behind her and Rey ignored the way he brushed past her more than once, a hand skating gently across the small of her back as her murmured “Behind”. The first hour of her shift was consumed with a constant, steady flow of customers in and out and when it tapered off a little, the calm before the lunch rush, Rey hopped onto the customer side and began straightening up some of the mess that had been made. Broom and washcloth in hand, she made her way around, chatting casually with any of the customers that initiated conversation, but mostly focusing on cleaning up. Only a few minutes had passed before Leia took the broom from her and led her back to wash her hands and partake of a fresh slice of coffee cake that Chewie had just pulled from the oven. 

“I was so glad when Han told me that you’d agreed to work here,” Leia commented, her smile wide as Rey tucked into the warm, crumbly treat. “It’s nice to know that I’m not always going to be surrounded by immature men.”

There was a scuffling noise that almost served as punctuation to Leia’s statement that made both women look up. Chewie, still in his apron, had playfully wrapped an arm around Han’s neck, bending him over and, with his free hand, was ruffling Han’s hair into a giant mess, despite the man’s loud protests. Rey glanced to Leia and caught the older woman’s rolling eyes.

“I’ve known those two for over thirty years and as far as I know, they’ve never stopped acting like children.”

Rey could help notice Ren eyeing his father and Chewie with derision and the look was so comically overdone that she held back a snort. Leia glanced to her and followed her sightline to Ren.

“Ben has never really enjoyed their displays. I think they always embarrassed him. I can’t blame him for that.”

Rey watched in silence as Ren finally strode over and pulled the two men apart, delivering a few words that Rey was glad she was too far away to hear. Neither of the older men looked upset by what he said, though and Rey smiled at the way they shrugged and went back to work. Ren glanced up and made eye contact with Rey who looked away quickly, suddenly becoming very invested in her slice of coffee cake. 

“I used to pretend I wasn’t interested in Han too, you know.”

Rey looked at Leia, whose smile was mischievous. “We sparked off of each other constantly. Spent quite a lot of time pretending I didn’t even like him. In the end, it didn’t matter. He always knew.”

Rey felt her cheeks flush red. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

Leia laughed. “Your blush says otherwise. You like my son. He likes you too.”

“He’s my teacher,” Rey began, feebly before Leia cut her off.

“And Han was little more than a scoundrel, running an illegal business while I was the daughter of a respected business man and politician. Han was stubborn and so am I. And Ben is the product of two incredibly stubborn people. I almost pity you, poor girl, you’re going to have your work cut out for you with him.” Leia’s smile was knowing. “I know he can be intimidating at times, but I still just see him as the sensitive little boy who, when he encountered the reality of death for the first time, curled up on my lap, tugged at my hair and told me repeatedly that he was never going to let anything happen to me. He’s been trying to take care of me ever since, in his own way.”

Leia’s eyes were soft and sentimental and Rey felt a tugging on her heart when the older woman placed a gentle hand on Rey’s cheek. Her hand was warm and soft and Rey closed her eyes for a moment, basking in the feeling. There was a memory tugging at her mind at this gentle caress, but before it could fully form, a deep voice interrupted.

“How’s the coffee cake?”

Leia’s gentle hand was gone and Rey’s eyes fluttered open. Ren was standing in front of them, awkwardly shifting from one foot to another. His darks eyes were intensely focused on Rey in a way that made her shift. 

“Fine,” Rey’s response was short and she stood abruptly, taking the now empty plate with her to the dish pit and emerging from the back quickly, before Ren could follow and corner her. She could see him watching her, but as a group of laughing girls entered, Rey took her place behind the register, forcing a smile as she called out a greeting. 

The lunch rush kept them all busy for the next hour and a half and Rey was happy for the distraction. She could still feel whenever Ben was watching her, but with so much going on she could easily ignore him. Rey’s smile was plastered on her face as she greeted the next customer whose familiar sleazy grin made her instantly uncomfortable. The creepy customer from the day before was back in front of her register. Rey’s back straightened and her smile dropped a little. 

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“Hello again, beautiful. I’m glad you’re working today; I came in just to see you.”

Rey saw out of the corner of her eye Leia turn to face the man.

“How can I help you?” Rey stoically repeated, her voice more forceful than before. Before the man could say anything, a feminine voice sounded from behind him. 

“Rey, is this guy bothering you again?”

Rey glanced behind him and noticed the fierce little face of Jessika, the woman who’d sympathized with Rey the day before. The man turned, a scowl forming on his face, to the dark haired girl firmly standing her ground. 

“What’s it to you?”

Jessika’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t like when men talk to women the way you do.”

“Why, because they don’t talk to you that way?”

Jessika’s lips parted in a nearly feral grin. “I don’t swing that way sweetheart. Now, either order something politely or leave. No one wants to have to pretend you’re not disgusting because they can’t tell you otherwise.”

“I bet she likes it. Girls like that always want attention from older men.”

“Get out.”

The voice was deep and angry and rumbling from a chest not far from behind Rey. Ren was obviously furious and Rey could hear his anger in the tightness of his voice. The man spun around, as if he planned on responding, but Ren was towering behind Rey and she didn’t have to see his face to know that his expression was dark and angry. All of the self-righteous anger went out of the man instantly and he meekly scampered away. 

“Jessika with a K, how do you seem to pop up whenever that guy is around?” Rey smiled as the girl came up to the counter.

“I wasn’t planning on coming in, but I saw him coming in and I thought you might like a hand,” Jessika’s smile was full and pretty. “And I realized that I asked you if you wanted to hang out sometime yesterday, but I didn’t give you my phone number so that would probably be hard to do.”

Rey laughed and exchanged numbers with the girl, promising they’d hang out soon. She left with an iced Chai that Leia insisted was on the house and a happy wave goodbye.

Everyone who stepped up to Rey’s register for the next few minutes went out of their way to be apologetically polite to Rey and it warmed her to see how many people seemed to do what they could to try to lift her spirits following that dismal scene. At two pm, Han pulled her off the register and gave her a lunch break. Chewie, whose soft spot for Rey was well known, made her an overstuffed sandwich and instructed her, in his heavy accent, to eat every bite of it. As she was eating, he came by again with a cherry tart and set it in front of her. Rey’s laughter rang out and she saw Ben’s immediately smile in response to the sound. So did Han.

He looked between the two of them quizzically for a moment before ducking his head to his wife’s ear. Rey watched Leia chuckle and nod and then Han looked back to her. When he was certain she was watching him, he inclined his head to his son. Rey shrugged, but she could feel the warmth in her cheeks. Han’s response was a broad grin of his own. 

The rest of her shift flew by and when it was time for her to go home, Rey almost didn’t want to leave. She enjoyed this job more than any other she’d had. The atmosphere was more relaxed here than at any other place she worked and it felt comfortable, like a home away from home. She would have stayed if she’d brought her backpack, but it was in her bedroom and she knew she had a good amount of homework to get done. 

She was in her car before she checked her phone. She had two texts from Finn, three from Poe, five from Ren and one from Jessika. She checked Finn’s first. His were simple, a text about BB getting stuck in a boot she’d left by the couch after Poe had shined a laser by it and one telling her that he was going to be at work late. Poe’s texts were all innuendo and reminders that he expected Rey to tell him ‘in explicit detail’ about her rendezvous. Jessika asked if she was free sometime this week to hang out. Ren’s ranged from asking if Rey slept alright, inquiring if she was okay several times, to asking if he could take her out to dinner after work. She frowned at the last one. She hit the home button, choosing not to answer the question and drove home. 

She’d made an active effort to distance herself from him at work today and she knew that he could tell. What she really needed was time and space. She didn’t want to get wrapped up in anything that she didn’t think all the way through, so she settled in for a long night of studying and homework. 

Her phone buzzed at 9 pm and Rey checked it, ready for a quick break from the sonnet that was infuriatingly difficult. 

_Why are you ignoring me?_

Rey frowned and decided to answer.

_I need some space. And my English teacher assigns a lot of homework that I have to find time to work on._

_I could just give you an ‘A’._

Rey went from tired and harried to angry in an instant. 

_How dare you?_

His response was quick.

_It was a joke!_

_Leave me alone._

She put her phone down. It buzzed again and she ignored it. Her mind was reeling. Even if it had been a joke, it was completely tasteless. Over the next half hour, her phone buzzed more times than she could keep track of. After she’d slogged through the last bit of her sonnet, it rang and she answered it, her anger obvious.

“What?”

“It was a joke. I’m sorry, I’m not funny.”

“You made me feel like someone who fucks their teacher for a passing grade.”

“It was intended as a slightly off color joke. I never meant to make you feel like that.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rey could hear Ren’s indrawn breath.

“I’m sorry, let’s pretend it never happened, okay?”

Rey shook her head even though she knew that Ren couldn’t see her. “No. I don’t want to talk to you for a while. I don’t know if I want to talk to you at all. Leave me alone. I need some space. I work from 6 to 2:30 tomorrow. I’d appreciate if you didn’t show up to help at Falcon until after I’m gone.”

With that, she hung up and blocked Ren’s number, setting her phone down firmly. She pretended the tear rolling down her cheek was because she was angry and not from the peculiar pang that hanging up on Ren had caused.


	11. Wasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rey gets way too drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Okay, this chapter was really fun to write. I took a slight detour from what I intended this chapter to be because this appealed to me a lot more. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

Rey was listless through most of the next day. She went through all the motions without any real relish and she could tell by the concerned looks Han and Chewie were tossing her way that it was very evident to them that something was wrong. Han tried to bring up his son multiple times, but Rey always deflected and turned the conversation back to work. By the time her shift was up, she was ready to go home, take a long, hot shower and take a quick nap. 

On her way out, she physically ran into Ren. She had her phone out and was trying to respond to Poe when it happened. A second or two earlier, her path was clear and then quite suddenly she was plowing headlong into a body she knew only too well. She didn’t fall on her ass this time, but tried to skirt around him without looking into his face. He’d steadied her when they collided and she felt his hands linger on her arms longer than they needed too before she shrugged them away. 

At this point, she knew that what he’d said hadn’t been serious, but she was too tired to deal with it. Her heart seemed to have a dull ache in it that matched the one in her head almost perfectly. She tried to remind herself that she’d only known him for a few weeks and reiterate that this distance she was creating was the only good decision she’d made since she met him. It wasn’t working. She missed the way their conversations flowed and there was something to be said about a man whose sarcastic wit was just as sharp as her own. 

She hesitated on the sidewalk, wanting to make her way to her car and home, but feeling inexplicably resistant at the same time. Home meant facing Poe whose sideways glances whenever he saw her let her know that he was still expecting a full report and she couldn’t handle telling him the whole situation right now. 

“Rey!” 

She glanced up. Jessika was walking toward her, one slender arm raised in greeting. The dark haired girl was dressed in a short, tight black dress, scuffed red boots and a choker necklace. Her hair was also cut bluntly to her shoulders and ramrod straight. 

“Jessika, did you cut your hair?”

The girl made it to Rey and continued walking until she enveloped her in a warm, friendly hug. “You looked like you could use a hug. And yeah, I decided I wanted to change my look a little. Did you just get off work?”

“Yeah,” Rey said. She was about to add that she was on her way home when Jessika butted in.

“That’s great! You wanna go grab a drink? I know this great dive nearby that never cards if you’re a hot girl.”

Rey laughed, the girl’s exuberance rubbing off on her. “I’m hardly in my hot girl disguise today.”

There was no hesitation. “You’re always cute. Come on, doesn’t some alcohol sound great?”

Rey thought about it for a moment and then impulsively nodded her head. “Let’s go. I’ll drive.”

 

The bar wasn’t far and Jessika kept up a steady string of chatter that was exceptionally easy to participate in. True to what she’d said, the bouncer didn’t ask for IDs before letting them in with a leery grin. 

“Grab a table and I’ll get some drinks.”

“Wait,” Rey said, “let me give you some money.”

Jessika blinked at her. “It’s my treat. Besides, the first round is usually the only one I have to pay for. Pretty soon people will be sending drinks over. We’re the only girls in here right now.”

Rey glanced around, realized that Jessika was telling the truth. Their arrival had already gathered some attention. She settled in a booth and watched her friend talk to the bartender, an exceptionally tall blond woman. Rey saw the way the bartender avidly watched her friend walk back to her.

“Rum and Coke okay for you?”

Rey nodded and gratefully took a sip. It was strong and she struggled not to choke on it slightly. Jessika was watching her with amused eyes.

“Phas always makes them potent whenever I order them. We went on a few dates a couple months ago and I think she still has a soft spot for me.”

Rey glanced up and saw the woman studying her. When they made eye contact, her jaw hardened slightly and she bobbed her head. Rey smiled at her and watched the mild surprise and faint flush that spread across her face. Rey and Jessika sat in a comfortable silence for few minutes, slowly sipping at their drinks. Rey glanced around, taking in the slightly dingy environment. 

“So,” Jessika said abruptly, “Before I embarrass myself, I should ask if you’re into women.”

Rey’s eyes switched back to Jessika who was watching her with mild amusement.

“Oh, um…I don’t think I am.” The statement sounded more like a question and Rey took another long draw on her drink. “Probably not. I’ve never had a thing for a girl, but I’m not so stubborn as to rule anything out, you know?”

Jessika laughed. “Well, I’ll keep that in mind. What about that tall awkward guy that you work with? He seemed to like you.”

Rey colored, looked away and drained her glass. “I don’t really want to talk about him right now.”

“That’s what I thought,” Jessika said. “You definitely needed a drink.”

Before Rey could respond, the blond from behind the bar came up to their table with another drink that she set in front of Rey.

“One of the guys perving on the two of you wanted me to bring you a refill of whatever you were drinking when you finished.” Her voice was short, and she stared at Rey, her expression unreadable.

“Hey Phasma, I’m here too,” Jessika teased.

“I am aware,” Phasma stated bluntly before she turned and walked away.

“She’s…intense,” Rey commented as the woman strolled past a group of men. One made the mistake of reaching out to try to delay her return to the bar. She turned and Rey could see the way the guy slurred out a remark that was, judging by the withering glare Phasma shot at him before peeling his hand from her arm, decidedly inappropriate. 

“Yeah,” Jessika’s voice was fond. “I always liked that about her. No one ever fucked with us twice. I bet no one messes with you when you’re with the big eared giant.”

Rey glanced at her drink and raised it, disregarding the tiny straw to take a swallow directly from the glass.

“Okay, no more talking about him, then?” Jessika queried.

“It’s complicated,” Rey sighed.

“Because you work together?” Jessika asked.

“That’s the least of it,” Rey replied. The warmth spreading in her stomach made her feel a little less uncomfortable with the subject. “Can you keep a secret?”

Jessika leaned forward. “Of course.”

“He teaches my English class.”

Jessika’s face was a picture of surprise, her mouth a perfect ‘O’. Her mouth snapped shut and she tilted her head to the side.

“That’s kind of hot,” she said and Rey snorted. “No really. I guess you can check that off the bucket list. He seems kinda young. Is he a grad student?”

“Nope. He’s teaching the class as a favor for the actual professor.”

“Well, shit, that hardly counts. Have you done it in the classroom?”

Rey shot her a scandalized look and Jessika shrugged. “What? It’s fun. I mean, I haven’t with a teacher, but a fellow classmate? Hell yes.”

“So, you don’t think it’s weird?”

“Oh, it’s completely weird. And unethical. Still hot, though.”

Rey’s head rested on the table and Jessika reached out to her shoulder. 

“Look,” she said, “I mean, it’s against the rules, but that’s part of the fun isn’t it?”

“Not really. I’d like it more if I couldn’t potentially get expelled for it.”

“Well, there are two options. You could either stop seeing him, or you could decide it’s worth it.”

Rey looked up at her. “That’s what I’m trying to decide.”

Jessika picked up her drink and clinked it to Rey’s. “Then you need a few more of these.”

 

Rey was drunk. She hadn’t been drunk before, but the room was unsteady under her feet and she knew she was in no shape to drive. 

“Let’s call someone,” Jessika slurred. “Someone could probably drive us back.”

Rey pulled out her phone and stared at it. She wanted to call Ren. She clumsily tapped the screen.

“You guys need some help?” 

Rey looked up and into the eyes of the bartender. She handed her phone to her. “Can you unblock a number for me? I don’t remember how to. I only have one number blocked.”

The woman stared at her. “Okay.” She focused on the phone and Rey watched her.

“You’re pretty,” Rey said suddenly. The woman stopped looking at the screen and looked at her.

“You’re drunk,” she said before looking back to the phone.

“You are pretty though,” Jessika added. “I always thought so.”

There was a faint blush on Phasma’s face now as she handed the phone back to Rey. “You’re the pretty one.”

Rey tapped on the phone number and pressed the phone to her ear. He picked up after a few rings. 

“Rey?”

“Your name is stupid,” Rey slurred. That was not what she intended to say.

“What? Have you been drinking.”

“Shhh. Yes. But listen, Kylo’s a dumb name. Ben is so much nicer.”

“Where are you? Do you need someone to pick you up?”

“I’m somewhere with my friend. Hold on, I’m gonna ask where we are.”

“Rey—”

“Shut up, I’m asking!” Rey turned to Jessika who was teetering back and forth while smiling up at Phasma. “What’s the name of this place?”

“Oh, shit. Wait, I know the answer to this.”

“Rey!”

She pulled the phone away from her ear, wincing. 

“It’s called Trooper,” Phasma replied. Rey could see the woman was torn between being annoyed and amused. Rey put the phone back in her ear and caught Ren in the middle of a sentence.

“—lieve you’re this drunk at a place that you don’t even know the name of—”

“Ben, shut up for a second. It’s called Trooper.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Stay right where you are.”

“Okay,” Rey half sang the word and hung up without saying goodbye. “He’s coming to get us.”

“Phas is gonna take me home. She’s off work now.”

“I never said I was going to take you home.”

“Oh come on, Phas! You always took care of me.” 

Rey watched with amusement while Jessika fluttered her eyes at Phasma and the taller woman groaned and nodded.

“Fine, but we’re not going to leave until your friend has a ride home.”

“’f course! I wouldn’t wanna leave her alone.”

Phasma guided both girls into their booth and sat with them, forcing them to drink several glasses of water. “You two are absurd.” 

“Hey, I never drink!” Rey exclaimed.

“So you decided to get drunk off your ass even though you never drink?”

The voice behind her was deep and Rey recognized it immediately. 

“Can you not be an asshole right now, please?” She tried to stand, but the room was back to being unsteady in her vision. She looked up and Ren was looking concerned. 

“Can you stand?” He asked her and she looked down at her feet.

“Obviously not,” she said. She heard his heavy sigh.

“Alright, hold on.” She felt his hands grasp her around the waist and she was being lifted up. Once she was free from the booth, he swung her up into his arms. 

“I’m very tall right now,” she slurred. He held her closer and walked her out, kicking the door open. 

“Yeah, I know. Come on, I’m taking you back to my place so I can make sure you’re okay.”

He slid her into the passenger seat of his car and clicked the seatbelt. Before he shut the door, he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. 

“You’re a mess.”

“I am not.” 

“Great comeback.”


	12. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rey is hungover and a little crabby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I am so sorry! My roommate who pays the internet decided that he didn't want to pay it so our internet was down and I ended up at a Starbucks trying to do homework so I had no time to work on this. It's a mini-chapter, but hopefully I'll have a longer one up tomorrow or Friday. Much love, guys.**

Before she opened her eyes, Rey registered feeling more comfortable than she normally did on her rickety bed. She was also a good deal warmer than normal, to the point of being too warm. The realization that she was not alone was slow to dawn on her, but as she shifted, she felt arms tighten around her middle and she bolted upright, ripping herself away so roughly that she was halfway out of the bed. She would have fallen if it wasn’t for the hand that reached out against her abdomen and steadied her. She slipped her feet out of the covers and stood, whipping around to face…

“Ren? What the hell?” She was surprised by her croaky voice. Her throat was dry and rough and she winced at the sunlight coming in through the window. 

“Good morning to you, too,” his voice was even deeper than normal, thick with sleep. 

“What am I doing here?” She watched him stretch, tried not to notice the languid grace in the movement and the sleek ripple of muscle in his arms as he interlaced the fingers of his two hands and locked them behind his head while he watched her.

“You got incredibly drunk last night and called me. I picked you up and brought you back here so I could watch you and make sure you didn’t give yourself alcohol poisoning.”

Rey’s head was starting to pound and the memories from last night were sluggishly starting to return. She put her head in her hands and groaned.

“I never drink,” Rey muttered.

“You did last night,” he informed her and his voice was so irritatingly cheerful that she gritted her teeth.

She looked down at herself. She was wearing a black t-shirt that fit her almost like a dress. She didn’t have on pants.

“Did we have sex?” She looked up at the man in the bed, her jaw set. She watched his smile drop from his face in an instant and his brow furrowed.

“Of course not. You were drunk. What kind of man do you think I am?” He sounded affronted by the very idea. “I started to bring you back here and you nearly threw yourself out the window when you saw a Jack in the Box and demanded that I get you curly fries. You ate your weight in greasy fast food, called me an asshole half a dozen times, and then told me to carry you upstairs. You brushed your teeth with a spare toothbrush and I gave you a shirt to change into and tried to give you some pajama pants, but they were way too long and you tripped so you threw them at me and got into bed.” He paused and his frown was replaced by a smirk. “Then you insisted that I spoon you and we fell asleep. That’s basically what happened.”

Rey’s face was hot and she pressed the heel of her palm against her forehead while she tilted her head back. “Fuck. What time is it?”

“Around 8:30.”

She whipped her head down, cursing when the movement made her head rush. “What? It’s Monday! Class started an hour and a half ago.”

“I canceled it.” Ren said with a short shrug. 

Rey stared at him blankly. “Every time I forget that this thing between us isn’t normal, I’m reminded of the truth.”

She saw Ren wince openly and he looked away from her. She was still standing in front of his bed and she felt a pang of pity for him in that moment.

“I should take you back to your car,” he said as he moved out of the bed. When he stood, he was a bare foot away from her and despite her misgivings, she took a half step toward him, drawn to him in a way that she could never describe. He looked down at her and she saw his hand twitch toward her, but he brushed past her gently without saying anything. When he left her alone in his room, she sat on the edge of his bed and closed her eyes. She was struggling to remember anything that happened after he came to the bar, but it was all a blur. She was still perched on his bed when the door opened again. He was holding her neatly folded clothes. 

“You’re welcome to wear something of mine if you don’t want to get back into your dirty clothes. You’re a lot smaller than I am, but you could probably make do with something.”

She took her clothes from him and shook her head. “I’m going to take a shower when I get home anyway, but thank you.”

He nodded succinctly and turned to leave the room again. 

“Ren,” she called out and he paused, but kept his back to her. “Thank you.”

“I know this isn’t ideal,” he said, “but I’m trying. I’m not used to having to constantly take the feelings of another person into account with my actions and words. I am doing my best.” 

He walked out without another word and Rey reach for her clothes. She dressed quickly with trembling hands, wishing that her life could be less complicated. The ride back to the bar was quiet and Ren let her go with little more than a brief goodbye. As she drove home, Rey felt a lump in the pit of her stomach and she hoped that Finn wouldn’t be waiting for her.

Of course, he was and he was more upset than she’d ever seen him.

“I didn’t know where you were! I called you over and over again but you never answered and I was worried sick. You didn’t come home, Rey. I thought something terrible happened to you!”

“I’m sorry. I should have checked in with you. That was my bad. I went out after work with a friend and we had a few drinks and I was way too drunk to drive home so I crashed for the night.” Rey was careful in the way she phrased her words. She didn’t want to lie to him, but she didn’t want to tell him the truth either. “I’m still not used to having people care enough about me that they worry.”

It was the right note to hit and it was true. Finn’s face softened and he stopped pacing back and forth in front of her, choosing to take her hands in his instead. 

“Just…tell me next time, okay?”

She agreed and he gave her a long hug before running off to class. She jumped into the shower and enjoyed the feeling of the warm water easing her aching muscles. She dawdled longer in the shower than she strictly needed to and had to hurry to get to class in time. 

While she was normally entertained by this particular class, she found her mind wandering as the professor lectured. She kept getting stuck on the way Ren’s face had fallen earlier. Rey had to admit something to herself that she didn’t want: she’d been an asshole. Ren hadn’t been the one to reach out to her the night before, she’d gotten drunk, called him, made him rescue her and then woken up this morning on the defensive. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and hid it behind her laptop.

_Dinner tonight?_

His response came a few minutes later.

_Are you asking me on a date?_

She was, but saying so made her feel foolish. How was she supposed to pose the question in such a way that it didn’t seem ridiculous? This was her teacher, a man she’d slept with, and an entirely complicated human being that she only really like about a third of the time she was around him. A date seemed so farfetched that it bordered on the absurd. Before she could say anything one way or another, her phone buzzed in her hand and she read his next message.

_Should I pick you up or would you prefer to meet me?_

_We should meet somewhere. It can’t be too close to the school._

_This is complicated. I’d like to take you out somewhere nice. Would you like to drive to my place and we can go from there?_

Rey bit her lip, wondering how to broach the awkward conversation ahead of them. 

_Maybe we should just do takeout again. I enjoyed doing that._

Rey heard chairs squeaking against the floor and she glanced around, realizing that everyone was gathering their things and leaving. She hurried to do the same, worrying that she hadn’t paid attention to the lecture at all. As she walked out the door, she was distracted trying to straighten her messenger bag and she bumped into Ello.

“Rey!” His voice was warm and he steadied her. 

“Oh, hey,” she paused, fixing her bag and tossed him a small smile. “Sorry, I’ve gotta run.”

“Wait, I’ll walk with you for a while.”

She didn’t know how to say no. He kept up a string of inconsequential chatter and Rey responded as best she could given she was only half listening. 

“Anyway, I’m really glad class was cancelled this morning! I’d have never thought that Professor Asshole would cancel for any reason, especially not when there was something due today. And good thing too, because my sonnet is terrible.”

Rey tried not to think about the poem she had tucked away in her room that Ren had given her. “Mine is pretty bad too.”

“Ren is the worst,” he continued, as if he hadn’t even heard her. “And half the girls in the class are drooling over him. Can you imagine?”

Rey was quickly becoming annoyed with him. Whenever they spoke, Ello seemed to be complaining about something or trying to convince her to go out with him. She was glad that they were at her car now.

“Not at all. Well, this is my stop. Talk to you later.”

“Wait!” He paused and looked uncomfortable again. “There’s a party this Friday night and I was wondering—”

Rey cut him off. “I’m really sorry, but I’m not interested.”

He looked hurt. “Why not?”

Rey sighed. “I’m just not. I have to go.”

Her phone buzzed in her pocket again and she absently reached for it as she slid into her car. Ello stayed by her door for a minute before stalking away, obviously more upset that Rey was turning him down for a second time. 

_Take out isn’t a date. Let me take you out to a nice restaurant._

Rey’s brow was furrowed. _Ren, I don’t have anything appropriate to wear._

_That doesn’t matter. Wear whatever you want. Is 7 okay?_

She agreed reluctantly and wondered what was in store for her.


	13. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first date and something shifts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I'm so sorry guys. I had to take some time away from this fic because I was dealing with some serious mental health issues, but I'm back now. I don't think I'll be publishing 3 chapters a week like I was before, but I'll try for at 1 or 2 a week. That depression fog had me down pretty hard. Thank you for sticking with me.**

Rey studied her mostly empty closet, frowning as she pushed clothes around trying to find something other than ancient jeans and old t-shirts. She didn’t give much thought to clothing, in fact she preferred to dress as innocuously as possible most days, but tonight was not a normal occasion. It was a date and, quite embarrassingly, her first real date. She pulled out a crisp white button down shirt and held it up to herself, wondering when she’d bought it. She shook her head and put it back after realizing that she’d look more like a woman trying to go on a job interview in something like that. She spent several minutes rummaging through the remainder of her clothes before she threw her hands up and sulked away. She perched on her bed for a minute trying to decide what to do. 

She probably should wear a dress and something other than tennis shoes or flip flops. Should she wear makeup? That idea was thrown out quickly when she remembered the heavy, thick feeling that had settled on her face the one time one of the girls in the same foster home delighted in “giving her a makeover”. In the end, Rey had managed to smear the lipstick so atrociously she’d looked like a clown and her eyes, watering from the less than skilled application, managed to send rivulets of inky tears down her cheeks. When she’d looked in the mirror her face had looked like some sort of deranged serial killer’s mask and she scrubbed at the skin until it was pink and mildly raw. She sighed and picked up her keys again with determination. There was a thrift shop not far away and she was reasonably certain she could make do with something she found there. 

 

In the end, she went to two different thrift stores before she found a decent dress for only a few dollars. It was blue, fitted until the waist and then flared until it ended several inches above the knee. She wandered around a cheap shoe store until she found a pair of comfortable, low heeled silver shoes that she liked. She still had a few hours to kill before she had to meet Ren, so she settled on her bed and pulled out a textbook, trying to make up for her wandering mind. She got lost in studying and when she looked up next it was 5:30 and she debated putting her textbook away. She didn’t think it would take long to get ready and the last thing she wanted was to wander around in a dress for half an hour before she had to go. 

She stood, stretched her arms up and felt the quick succession of pops up and down her spine. It felt good to get out of a prone position after so long. She paced in her room trying to not think about the fact that she was going on a date with her teacher, but it proved to be impossible. Without the distraction of studying, she was consumed by the realization that she had no idea what was going to happen tonight. 

If she was being honest with herself, she was hoping sex would be on the table. Their last encounter ended poorly, but the act itself had been incredible and she was more than willing to continue that part of their association. He’d been an exceptionally generous lover and Rey would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that even when she was upset with him, that encounter had been playing on repeat in her mind late at night. She had a vague thought that if he didn’t infuriate her half the time she was around him, she’d be in serious trouble and Rey wondered offhandedly how he would manage to offend her tonight. 

 

It felt strange to be going on a date. She’d managed to slink out of the apartment unseen and she was pulling up to Ben’s place, frowning when she realized that she was unable to get into the gate. She drove up to the guard shack and a disinterested looking man grunted at her. 

“What do you want?”

“I’m trying to get in. I’m a guest of Kylo Ren.” 

“Hold on.” He looked through a list and picked up the phone. “What’s your name?”

“Rey Kenobi.”

She watched him press a few buttons and his conversation was brief and he begrudgingly opened the gate for her. She gave him a half sarcastic little wave and he scowled at her. 

“Okay, so obviously he doesn’t want to be my new best friend,” she muttered to herself. 

She found parking quickly and tried to remember which of the similar looking townhouses belonged to Ren. He solved the situation for her by coming out to greet her and as he strolled toward her, she took in a deep breath. He looked incredible. Instead of one of his heavy coats and slacks, he was wearing a suit that fit him so perfectly she knew he had to have it tailored. His hair, which she was now used to seeing pulled back was loose and looked as soft as she knew it was and the light breeze made a tendril float down and settle in the middle of his forehead and when he smiled at her Rey almost forgot to breath. She didn’t notice the flowers he was holding until he was handing them to her and then she was fumbling with them before she brought them to her nose for a quick sniff. They were beautifully fragrant and Rey was blushing when she drew them away.

“Thank you. I’ve never gotten flowers before.”

His arm went easily around her shoulders and he was guiding her toward his place. 

“You look incredible,” he told her and she felt a faint blush. “I guess I should consider myself lucky you don’t seem wear dresses all that often. I’d have more thoroughly embarrassed myself around you before now if you did.”

“You look pretty good, yourself,” she said and his brilliantly white teeth flashed in a brief smile. 

He opened the door to his place and Rey entered, once again struck by its stark emptiness. The only change she could see was the empty vase on the countertop. She looked up and him and smiled before gently pulling away from him to put the flowers in the vase. The splashes of color instantly made the entire room look more cheery and Rey smiled. 

“I guessed that you might find it a little ostentatious to bring the flowers to dinner with us, so I made sure to have a vase ready in case I was correct.”

“You were,” Rey said. “They’re beautiful, but I think they were cause a lot more attention to be drawn to us than I’m comfortable with.” She turned back to him and saw that he was leaning against the door with his arms crossed, watching her with a small smile tugging at his lips. 

“I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you’re actually here and that you’re going to let me take you out on a proper date,” he told her. “I mean, it wasn’t long ago that you seemed to want to cut me out of your life. You’re keeping me on my toes, Miss Kenobi.”

She flushed more deeply this time and looked down, smoothing her dress slightly. “I may have overreacted slightly—”

“Don’t.” She looked up. He looked very serious. “You don’t have to excuse yourself or apologize. I was tactless. I made you uncomfortable and I shouldn’t have. That’s my fault. Let’s just treat that as a lesson, put it behind us and have a good night together.”

She nodded wordlessly and he took her hand and hesitated for a moment before impulsively bringing it to his mouth for a brief kiss. A smile played at the edges of her mouth and when he grinned at her, he was suddenly transformed. He looked so much younger when he smiled, and it was such a rare thing that Rey was almost taken aback. He released her hand and touched the small of her back, guiding her to the door gently. On their way to his car, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side and Rey was stuck by both his height and the notion that despite that they still seemed to fit together perfectly. 

 

Ren drove further away from the school for another half hour on the freeway, explaining to her that he’d done his best to find a nice restaurant that would be far enough from the school that it was unlikely that anyone would recognize them. The entire time he drove, his right hand was settled gently on her thigh and he was radiating heat into her skin. It was comfortable and their conversation flowed more easily than normal. It felt comfortable and natural to be in the car with him, casually chatting about meaningless things.

The restaurant was at the top of a hill and had a breathtaking view. Rey felt out of place immediately in her cheap shoes and second hand dress when she saw the way everyone else was dressed. As they were seated, she fidgeted awkwardly while Ren pulled out his reading glasses. She watched him slip them on and immediately felt a little quirk in her stomach. He glanced up at her. 

“Have I mentioned yet how beautiful you look tonight?”

A tremulous smile spread across her face and she tried to calm her nerves. “You said something about it earlier.”

He reached across the table to take her clenched hand in his own. “Breathe, Rey.” He looked as though he might say more, but a waiter in a crisp uniform seemed to materialize at their table. Rey jumped slightly and would have withdrawn her hand if Ren hadn’t held it more tightly and reassuringly rubbed a thumb across her knuckles. 

Ren calmly turned down the wine and champagne offers which Rey couldn’t drink anyway, but ordered a few interesting sounding appetizers and the waiter extolled his good taste and disappeared just as quickly as he’d appeared. Rey hadn’t looked at the menu and instead tilted her head to the side.

“Have you been here before?”

“A few times,” he replied. “I enjoy good food.”

“What would you recommend?”

“The Coq Au Vin is always good and I enjoy the lamb as well.”

Rey felt out of her element again. Aside from the occasional diner food, she didn’t go out for dinner much and this was way out of her realm of comfort. 

“I can order for you if you’d like,” the statement was posed as a question and Rey nodded. 

“That might be for the best,” she responded. “I’d probably order the wrong thing.”

“There is no wrong thing to order here, but I’m happy to help.” His hand was still on hers and it felt reassuring to have it there. Rey was trying to relax and she glanced around. There wasn’t a free table in the place and it was exceptionally quiet given how crowded it was.

“This isn’t the type of place I’d go normally,” Rey confessed and Ren shrugged one shoulder as if it was of little importance. 

“We don’t have to come here again if you don’t like it. There are quite a few places I’d be happy to take you to next time.”

She was disagreeing before she realized the importance of the statement. He was obviously planning more dates in his head and, surprisingly, she wasn’t irritated by the notion. 

 

When Rey was happily tucking into the dessert that Ren recommended, she had to admit that he’d made an excellent choice in picking this restaurant. The tables were all mildly secluded and in low light and she hadn’t worried about being seen with him for the whole night. He’d kept the conversation light and had made her laugh several times. The edgy feeling she’d had at the beginning had dissipated quickly and she was comfortable and happy in his presence. Ren looked more relaxed than she’d ever seen him and he was watching her with one of his half smiles and Rey smiled back at him. 

“I’m glad you wanted to see me.”

His voice was low and he seemed almost embarrassed that he’d spoken. “I’m glad I’m here,” she told him and his face softened while his eyes intensified and for the first time she felt perfectly content to be the focus of his attention. 

After paying the bill, Ren helped her to her feet and placed a hand at the small of her back again, guiding her to the front of the restaurant. Rey leaned her head against him and he moved his arm to her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. They stayed that way until they reached his car and when he opened the door for her he turned to face her and put his hand gently to her chin, tilting her head up. Rey’s eyes fluttered closed, expecting to feel his mouth on hers. Instead, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and a warm feeling spread throughout her body down into her toes. 

She wanted to fight it. It was too much feeling too soon. He was still her teacher, was still much older than her and this entire thing was still terribly inappropriate. When he pulled away and her eyes opened, all she could think was that she was done for.


End file.
